I [32 M] have serious concerns about my mother [75 F] and I don’t know what to do: health issues, home issues, lack of personal maintenance, financial issues and misaligned priorities.

My mum is about to be discharged from hospital for a range if things she left it far too long to do anything about - lung and heart issues, diabetes, DVT etc. this is despite me for years begging with her to go to the hospital or see a doctor.

The doctor has said that her home environment is the cause of many of these issues: she’s a hoarder, cluttered, no space to move in the house, pet birds she lets fly around the house etc. cockroaches and all sorts of other stuff going on. Rotten food she refuses to throw out, etc

I have tried for 10 years to get her to see someone or change her way of living and I haven’t had any success. If I even pick up an old bit of food while she’s there she loses her mind and abuses me. I feel really torn between seeing her healthy and severing the relationship over an old rotten orange.

she has also not done her taxes in some years and I’m concerned about her financially.

On top of this she’s manipulative - whenever she is in public she tells the doctors that everything is fine and lies about her living situation. She also always finds way to blame me - whether I help or refuse to help either I’m interfering, helping when it’s not requested, helping only when it suits me or not helping at all. I can’t win - but I’m so scared and worried about losing her and worried about her wellbeing day to day.

I don’t know what to do anymore. I can’t continue to see her deteriorate (even if she doesn’t see it) and her friends are now also getting very concerned.

Literally sitting here in the hospital crying about the thought of her returning to the environment that is killing her.

TL;DR: Mum doesn’t maintain anything in her life. Has been in hospital for health reasons related to lack of maintenance. About to be discharged and return to her living situation. Worried about her wellbeing if she returns to that environment and our relationship breaking due to her reaction to me wanting to help.

Submitted July 03, 2019 at 06:37PM by assimilationandrice https://ift.tt/2YuEfeB