We've been together for 3 years, living together for most of that time. We've had lots of challenges (he was unemployed for most of our relationship, I had some medical diagnoses) but have never really had any problems. We almost never fight and easily talk about issues that are going on in the relationship. This is one I'm afraid to bring up, though.
He's finally found some solid employment, and I expected things to improve in our relationship, but all I've been feeling recently is "grass is greener" syndrome and wondering if there's someone/thing better. I'm constantly wondering if I'm just comfortable in the relationship and not really happy, even though day to day feels happy. I think I've felt like I had to take care of him for so long, that being together wasn't an option, that him having some money gives me the freedom to think about other possibilities.
Why I think I'm happy: We can entertain each other with just talking and not want to kill each other at the end of 10+ hour road trips. Comfortable talking about almost anything. Get excited when I haven't seen him in a long time.
Why I think I'm comfortable: Don't feel a "spark" anymore. Don't feel sad when I think of a life without him. Don't try certain things because I know he doesn't like them. Worry about long term compatibility, not because of anything specific, but just have a weird feeling.
So, here I am asking random internet strangers. Is what I'm describing normal at this point in a relationship? Is it fear of commitment? Or, do I have some genuine concerns, even if there's nothing specific saying "end the relationship?"
tl;dr: There's nothing specifically wrong with my relationship, but I'm starting to wonder if there's better out there. Is this normal?
Edit: thank you guys for all the advice! I ended up talking to my partner about my fears/concerns, and he was very supportive about it. Obviously, he wants us to stay together (and so do I!), but he also understand that thoughts will pop up, especially for someone in their early 20s.
Honestly, just talking about it with him was a huge relief and reaffirmed that he’s my human :)
For those asking about why I don’t try things, I realize I worded it poorly. He doesn’t prevent me from doing anything or control me. I just enjoy spending time with him, so I don’t like doing things that would exclude him. I have limited time off of work, so I try to always do something together. But, I agree that it’s time to put on my big girl panties and do some stuff on my own. Rock climbing is the first thing on my list!
Submitted June 18, 2019 at 12:36PM by throwaway128095616 http://bit.ly/2WOh2CJ
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