My(19) boyfriends(18) best friend(18) constantly needs company otherwise he gets lonely and has suicidal thoughts

tl;dr:

Boyfriends bestfriend is making me feel guilty by not talking to him. He's completely shut my boyfriend out despite his efforts trying to help. It almost seems like the best friend likes me more than a friend and uses his suicidal thoughts to guilt trip me into talking to him. If I don't talk to him I feel like I'll be responsible if he does something to himself.

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My boyfriend introduced me to his best friend a couple of months ago; he mentioned that he gets sad a lot (doesn't have good mental health). Since the guy was my boyfriends bestfriend he was often there when we were hanging out. At the beginning I didn't see anything wrong with the guy so I continued to talk to him and we became friends.

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We use discord to communicate and play games with one another. But, its difficult to find something that we all enjoy doing (games etc), this creates tension and the bestfriend often goes quiet. From my perspective it seems like he can go from one extreme (really happy, laughing) to another (really sad, doesn't talk, gets grumpy). He confessed to my boyfriend that he was worried at the beginning because they weren't talking as much as my boyfriend was concentrated on our relationship as it was just beginning; I felt bad about this and partly to blame. Due to the fact that I heard the guy was worried about losing his bestfriend I suggested that we should all just hang out together sometimes. Recently, there has been a divide between all three of us and I honestly feel like he's involved in mine and my boyfriends relationship. Its gotten to the point now where the bestfriend would ask me to hangout alone, at first I seen this as harmless and I wanted to get to know him better as we're all going on holidays as a firend group; my boyfriend always knew when we were talking and it wasn't secretive.

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During one of the times where it was just me and the bestfriend talking he sounded really monotone and he wasn't behaving the way he normally does. I knew he had problems but I never brought them up as he never acted this way before. When I asked him what was wrong he told me he was sad; I reacted how you normally would and tried to be comforting as everyone gets down sometimes. Once I started helping him he obviously felt more comfortable around me and I didn't mind that as I wanted to help as a friend.

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My boyfriend who constantly offers him help and asks him if he wants to hang out and do things that he knows makes him happy as he's known him for 5 years. Its gotten to the point now where it seems like the bestfriend gets jealous when I talk to my boyfriend, he gets aggrivated when I say I'm spending time with my boyfriend on the weekends because that's the only time we have together. He constantly tells me that he's crying and that he's going to kill himself because hes lonely when I don't talk to him. My boyfriend tells me that he tries to help him and his friend keeps telling me that my boyfriend doesn't understand him in the way that I do, even though we suggest the same things.

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I left my computer on overnight because my boyfriend and I were webcamming and I fell asleep, when I woke up this morning I was still active on discord but the friends status was set to away; I didn't want to message him incase he was busy but I was going to talk to him because he was suicidal yesterday and I felt bad for spending time with my boyfriend alone and not helping the guy. He constantly uses the 'I'm lonely, you don't want to talk to me, what have I done, why are you talking to your boyfriend and not me'; normally I'd get angry at people who act like this but because the only two people he has in his life is my boyfriend and I, I feel partially responsible for constantly keeping him happy and I would feel terrible if anything was ever to happen. He says that he's felt this way for most of his life but yet doesn't want to get help, my boyfriend even offered to go to the doctors with him and help him through it all.

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'you guys go do your thing then, i'll just sit here and keep crying

maybe you will want to talk to me tomorrow

and if you don't please just say you don't

i might not even last till tomorrow now i think about it

if i don't i apologise'

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I honestly don't know how to deal with a situation like this; I just wanted to become friends and help but now I feel myself getting a bit down about the whole thing but if I cut him out I feel like he will just kill himself.

Submitted June 02, 2019 at 09:35AM by Mattoe_123 http://bit.ly/2Z4gzOo