My [51 F] sister's [50 F] husband [51 M] of four years repeatedly poses as my sister and chats with me without my knowing it isn't her. Not sure what to do.

My sister and her H live in the US, and I've been out of the country for the past year, so I chat with her via FB chat since I don't have a US phone number anymore.

I have learned that apparently while my sister is chatting with me via her phone, her husband will log in as her on his personal computer and read the chat in real time. A couple months ago, he started actually responding to me or adding comments as her, during my conversations with her.

Apparently, the husband is a "recovering" alcoholic, who apparently is still drinking. My sister is also in a support group for people who are partners of sex addicts. According to my sister, her H will continuously watch porn for hours on end, to the point it was interfering with his functioning. He has been in therapy over the years for what they both see as a serious problem.

They exchanged all passwords and gave each other access to all accounts because... I'm not sure. I think he wanted to prove to her that he's not watching porn anymore, and wanted to show her he was being honest about it now, by giving her access to all his accounts... allegedly. I guess it was a mutual sharing of PWs even though there was never any question of my sister's behavior.

He's been off and on the wagon drinking wise and porn wise their whole relationship. I once walked in on him drinking an airplane bottle of whiskey in the laundry room during a time he was supposedly in recovery. So he does do things in secret.

Anywho, I don't care about any of that, except to the extent that it harms my sister. I raise it because when I asked her if she wanted help resetting her passwords in a way he can't access her accounts anymore, she declined and said she gave him all the passwords so that they can show trust in each other. At this point, my husband entered the convo and said people who trust each other don't need to share passwords. But I guess this is how she wants it.

So about a month ago, she was cryptically telling me she is unhappy with her marriage, and was venting that she was watching tv alone on a Saturday night because the H had gone to bed at like 8 PM, and he doesn't want to do anything fun or social with her anymore. I joked with her and said, you need to find evening husband, who can take over when daytime H goes to bed. I told her, seriously there are so many guys who would love to be spending an evening with you, and joked she should go on okcupid and look for evening husband. She asked me some questions about it, and I told her I still have my old account from way back when I was dating. She asked for my login info because she wanted to take a look around. I gave her my username, and was trying to remember my PW, when she responded, NO! Apparently it had been her H asking for my login info, and she saw the conversation and wanted to stop me before I gave the PW.

Last week, I was chatting with her and said I'm going to apply for X job. She said, oh did you know H's uncle used to run that company? I said no what was his name. She said his name is Uncle of H. I asked some questions about the uncle and we chatted about the job, and she said, maybe I can talk to H about talking to his uncle, to give you an edge. Then she said, "husband???" And then said, I stepped away before you started talking about the job. None of this conversation has been me.

That conversation soon ended, with me saying, I just want to talk to my sister. How do I know I'm talking to you anymore? And she said if you want to talk in private, you can call me.

She is annoyed with his pretending to be her, but doesn't seem to be prepared to do anything about it.

Now I see she has added him to the chat group I share with my whole family... Or maybe he added himself. I told my brother about everything that's happened, and I feel like I should post in the family chat (it's my siblings, nieces, my H, everyone's spouses, and my mom) what H has been doing, to warn them be careful of messages alleging to be from my sister. I get it that adding him means nothing in terms of his reading or posting since he's had access to the family chat forever, too.

Feeling frustrated and angry, and not sure how to move forward. Warn all my family of what he's been doing? Post in the family chat and expose the issue to everyone (which would probably really embarrass my sister), or have a serious discussion about it with my sis?

TLDR: My sister's husband pretends to be her and chats with me, without my knowing it isn't my sister. I'm angry and frustrated, and unsure what to do.

Submitted June 21, 2019 at 04:22PM by Avocationist http://bit.ly/31R7oTk