My [32F] sister-in-law [40F] sent me a passive aggressive text about Fathers Day and I don’t know how to respond.

My parents and I had a falling out a few weeks ago. They seriously hurt my feelings by inviting my soon to be ex husband to dinner even though he is ruining me financially. I’ve come to accept through therapy that my parents abused me in many ways as a child, and this is why I accepted the abuse from my ex and stayed so long in a marriage that was hurting me.

My sister-in-law knows what happened between my parents and I, because when I spoke up to my parents they ran to my older brother (her husband) to intervene and bully me. I stood up to him, too. Today my sister-in-law sent me a text saying, “It would be really nice if you called or sent an email to your Dad for Father’s Day.”

Yes, it would. It also would be nice if my Dad called or sent an email on my birthday or special occasions, but he never once has. It feels icky to me that she said that. It doesn’t feel like it’s any of her business. How would she know if I have talked to my Dad or not unless she asked him or he told her? And if so, wouldn’t she have said “You Dad said he hadn’t heard from you yet today, I think he’d appreciate it if you reached out.”

It doesn’t feel right to me. Am I over reacting? What should I say?

I’m thinking of saying:

“My Dad has never once personally called or emailed me to say happy birthday, Merry Christmas, etc. in my life. I have always done that for him, including sending cards and gifts from Australia.*

My parents have been ignoring me since I spoke up when they hurt my feelings a few weeks ago. There's nothing more I can do on my end. I'm hoping they are able to engage with me to have a conversation about what happened. Until then, I'm tired of putting the effort in to only be hurt or ignored in return. I'm going through as much as I can handle right now with the legal battle and restructuring at work.

I appreciate your kind intentions, but this is an issue between my parents and I. It should not be the concern of anyone else. Thanks for respecting my boundary here ❤️“

*I lived in Australia for eight years, my parents are in Canada.

TL;DR: Sister-in-law sent a passive aggressive text about Father’s Day. I don’t think it was right for her to hint anything about my relationship with my Dad since he and I have an issue right now. Would really appreciate advice. Thank you.

Submitted June 16, 2019 at 03:00PM by AletheaFire http://bit.ly/2Kpvkb8