My (30F) SO (27M) won't let me backpack by myself through Europe, despite me already having done so for over 10 years

TLDR: SO has anxiety over me backpacking by myself, despite the fact that I've already lived, worked, and backpacked in these places before

When I was 19 years old, the summer after high school, I emptied out my savings and moved to Berlin. No job, no address, just enough money to cover 2 months of rent for the flat of a friend of a friends aunt or something. I scraped together a few part-time jobs, slept on a park bench once or twice, but eventually got a job as a bartender at a wonderful, now defunct lesbian bar. 1 year after that, I skipped town, moved to Spain, and did it all again. Most of my early 20's involved moving around, working all kinds of bars and clubs, and my fair share of rough living, including brief periods of homelessness. There was also a lot of backpacking in between, and I'm happy to say that I've not only visited (and revisited) every country in Europe, but I've been picking off countries all over the map at a pretty steady pace.

When I turned 27, I decided to be formally trained as a sommelier. I ended up meeting my current SO, and agreed to move to England with him. As of 2019, we've settled down into a shared flat, and I've been working at my latest job for about 9 months now where the dress code is flexible and the staff is amazing.

My vacation starts in about a week and lasts until early august, a few weeks before we reopen after the summer. The plan was a 60/40 split between us blowing money at Italian agriturismos and getting wine drunk, and me then travelling to Germany, France, and Austria by a mix of bus and train so that I can meet some of my old friends and revisit some of the places where I used to work and live (and also I get to wear a backpack).

My SO graciously offered to handle the bookings, even my own, which I was both surprised and grateful for since it's a pain.

I was even more surprised when he told me yesterday that he actually hadn't booked anything for me, and also that I shouldn't go.

He told me that he was going to book it, but the idea of me travelling all by myself made him so anxious that he wanted to throw up. He said that travelling alone as a woman when you're in a relationship was reckless, selfish, "and just asking for it." And since I was backpacking, it was also obnoxious.

I was too angry to reply, but also too angry to fight, so I just kind of left it at that and slept on the couch instead. We haven't spoken since then, and I'm currently sitting outside after closing and hovering with my finger over the "book" button.

Is he overreacting or am I just being selfish? I get being worried but I really feel like I've proven that I'm more than capable of taking care of myself.

Submitted June 16, 2019 at 05:10PM by nomadicbartender http://bit.ly/2XS8Rqi