I (28m) believe that getting married to my wife (28f) has been the single biggest mistake of my life.

This is a throwaway for obvious reasons. I have been married to my wife for going on two years. I absolutely believe it has been the biggest mistake of my life so far. I have ostracized my family (deserved) and my friends (undeserved), and my work performance has declined considerably. I went from being debt free to over 50k in debt not including my house, and the intimate side of the relationship exists maybe once a month.

She continually puts me down for my career choice (I have had an extremely successful career thus far in the enlisted side of the military) for the lack of money being able to support the quality of life that she (and I) want. She has had four jobs since we have been married, and continually quits them. It’s never her fault in her mind. She always deserves more for the effort she puts in, even though she would continually call off or be late.

I transferred my GI Bill that would pay for her college to her, and support her trying to be a writer off of my pay check so that she could have a career that she wants. However, it has continually been brought up that she has given up all of her career in retail to move out to shit military towns to follow my career which won’t support the quality of life we want. I offer to get out of the military and it’s simply an unrealistic option given the financial situation.

I’m not perfect, and I know this. I work 60 to 80 hour weeks, so I am away from home quite a bit. I am so burnt out from work that some simple tasks I truly forget to do. I have been brought up to be emotionally distant, which I know is not healthy in a relationship. I have started counseling though. I offered for it to be together as marriage counseling, but nope, she refuses. I don’t think she believes she has ever done anything wrong. She has threatened divorce three times in the past.

Overall the last month has been better in terms of arguments, but I am still unhappy. Where I’m fucked up is that I go out of my way to pretend to show that I love her, and that nothing is wrong. I try and cuddle, I kiss on her, I do everything I can to help out, but deep down, all I want to do is leave. But I’m guilted because she has nothing. She moved out to a military town where she has one friend, no job, no degree, and no money. I frankly don’t know what to do because I do care about her, so I continue to pretend nothing is wrong.

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TL;DR I am pretending to be happily married when in fact I think it has been the biggest mistake of my life.

Submitted June 23, 2019 at 01:54PM by ThisIsMyConfession91 http://bit.ly/2X2j5bn