My (29M) parents (~60MF) seem to favor my twin brother (29M) over myself and I don't know how to react.

I have a twin brother, which I can honestly say it has been good and bad as I've grown up. When we got out of college, I went to get a master's degree and my brother went into a post Bach program for a medical field, but he moved away from the state we grew up in. Since he has moved away, it's always felt rough to me because even though I get to spend more time with my parents since we are in the same area, they always talk about him when I'm around and it makes me feel less than adequate. To the point where when I see them once a month or so, they always bring up "we should FaceTime your brother", even though I don't see them a lot.

So my brother met his now wife in school, then moved to her state once they both finished their medical programs. The wedding was a bit tense, as my Mom didn't really get along great with my brother's wife or her Mom. But after the wedding, they established themselves in his wife's home state and recently bought a house. We all visit them once in a while when we can, but it's not easy because of the distance.

I haven't always had a great relationship with my parents, especially after my brother left. But recently I thought it was okay and I was trying to spend more time with them and help them out when I could, and I was looking forward to spending my birthday with them as it's coming up and I'm turning the big 3-0. I was talking to my brother today, and he told me that they had bought tickets to visit him over our birthday weekend, and it caught me off guard. On the one hand, I want them to be able to see him and spend his birthday with them, but at the same time they didn't say anything to me and it hurts a lot. I haven't spelled out the whole background with my parents here, but I've had multiple conversations with them about how I sometimes feel valued less than my brother because of their actions, and they mostly have responded negativey and told me I'm being too sensitive.

Writing this out I feel like I'm just whining a lot, "my parents don't love me as much as my twin brother," but I really have felt like I have put so much effort into my relationship with my parents and trying to be there for them and help them when they ask for help, where as my brother has always done his own thing and they seem to cater to him. It's been seriously hurting my self esteem, and making me want to step back slightly from my relationship with my parents. I don't think I can talk to them about this, because of how they've responded before. I'm not sure if I'm asking for advice, or more just writing this down to see how it feels when I read this back, but I any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.

tl;dr:

I have a twin brother who lives out of state, and I feel like my parents favor him more than me sometimes. Recently they booked a trip to see him during our 30th birthday without telling me, and it feels like it's the last straw. Not sure how to respond.

Submitted March 27, 2019 at 11:07PM by AwpticIllusion https://ift.tt/2uufW3n