A decade ago my mother brought over her siblings from Africa (through some chain migration shit) to the U.S. She had grown up away from them, after having been given away by her parents to her maternal aunt, and when these siblings came over she had this idealized vision of them in her head. Anyway, they came over and everyone got in a big fight and went their separate ways. My mother, who was a single mother, had been expecting her siblings to help out and be a resource and had this fanciful idea of sibling solidarity, however, her siblings were interested in self-advancement and did not seem to show whatever "gratitude" my mother expected from them for her effort in bringing them from a hellish situation in a bad part of Africa to the U.S, an effort that cost her many thousands of dollars. I was a kid then and none of this was my business.
Anyway, one of these siblings was my uncle and he lived with us for two or three years when he first arrived. After that he left to another state and I never heard from him again. Anyway, now I'm older and one of his children (still in Africa) has reached out to me on Facebook. He says his old man (my uncle) is out of work and he wants me to send him some money for "books." He's also told me that many other relatives in Africa want my contact details, and after they receive them I assume that they too will flood me with requests for money (that's how it works in my mom's culture)....
I'm a young professional, with not a whole lot of money, and unlike my mother, I'm not sure I want to spend my working years sending money to unknown relatives in Africa (i'd rather save for retirement). I'm afraid if I give him the money he requests, my cousin will ask for future money as well (and he's one out of a large number of children my uncle has). I feel conflicted. On one hand, these people are my blood relatives and poor compared to me, but on the other hand I'd have to sacrifice my financial stability if I helped them out. And from my mom's experience, I know that selflessly helping out relatives does not really bring much benefit back to you (in terms of them being grateful to you or helping you out in turn). What should I do?
tl;dr: My estranged uncle's son has reached out to be on Facebook saying his old man is out of work and wants money from me, do I have a moral obligation to help out this blood relative who is poorer than me even though I hardly knew his father and don't know him at all?
Submitted March 28, 2019 at 01:50PM by ObnoxiousBotsDie https://ift.tt/2FHqRwL
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