Depressed boyfriend [21M] had an angry outburst with me [20F] today, said hurtful things and I don't know if it's true or just his depression making him feel that way.

I have dated my boyfriend for an over a year. We are extremely compatible and I see my future with him. However, he suffers from depression & also is very stressed with balancing university and work together.

Recently, his stress and depression has come up in the form of anger even when it's not about me. Yelling at me, hitting objects when angry, getting irritated easily and swearing. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells when we talk these days. It's like he became another person.

Today he called me because he couldn't come over to my house, so we chatted on the phone while he was playing video games but his voice seemed just as cold as it was yesterday. I had a bad pain in my stomach and I was still upset from the day before because he yelled at me, and I told him he can call me after playing his game. He assumed I was upset because of the game, and then we had an explosive fight that I am still shocked by.

He said that I just want to fight, that I just want to break his mental health. He said that I've never helped him. He even threatened to block me when I was typing. He accused me of always pushing him away and said he's tired because I'm always upset when we call-- when actually the past few weeks the only reason I'd get upset is if he'd snap at me. And he even said I faked my stomach ache.

I am so lost. I've cried my eyes out because it's never what I intended. I've been trying to be understanding and supportive of him recently because I know he's having a hard time but it feels like he can't see how hard I am trying for him too. He told me he'll get better but refuses to get professional help. The worst part about this fight is that I can't tell if this his depression talking or if this is really how he feels about me, that I'm a fake evil person that is just simply trying to damage his mental health. Because he always talks about how much he loves me and how much I've helped him and given him strength, so I'm really confused about today.

I would really appreciate any advice. Am I a terrible person if I give up on this relationship? Did I cause him to be like this? And what if he tries to harm himself if I leave? I'm so scared of this. Should I stay with him and try to be more understanding of his depression and not take it personally?

TLDR; boyfriend suffers from depression, very angry these days and said some hurtful things today that is hard for me to really process.

Submitted March 29, 2019 at 05:10AM by CharmingPressure9 https://ift.tt/2U58xXp