I've had this group of friends for a long time. They are all great, except Kyle. I absolutely cannot stand him.
We were good friends when we were younger, but the problem is that Kyle never ever matured or grew up.
Things he's done include: Beating up a girl, other assaults, sexually assaulting someone, being sexually inappropriate to children, vandalism, breaking and entering, drink driving, and more. Yet he's never ever been in trouble for any of it.
I once said something that Kyle misunderstood, and he threatened to beat me up (not that he could). I instantly blocked him. It didn't stop him messaging me out of the blue on something different months later making fun of my health condition. So much toxicity when I was never anything but kind to him.
He's the type of person who LITERALLY laughs at starving children in Africa. I've never once heard him be kind or supportive. Instead he always brings people down, doubts them, and is incredibly argumentative at any opportunity (despite being really dumb and almost always wrong).
So I hope you can understand why I want nothing to do with Kyle.
Problem is that while the rest of our group are supportive, kind, and friendly towards me, they do not call him out for his bullshit. They ignore it. They continue to be Kyle's friend no matter what he does. He could probably be exposed as a mass murderer of children and they wouldn't cut him off.
It makes it very difficult for me to do things with anyone else in the group.
We only see each other every month or 2 due to living in different cities now, but it's gotten to the point where I'll avoid meeting up, or avoid going on holiday with them, because he'll be there and it's awkward and I don't want to have to listen to him talk about women as pieces of meat, or about how great it is that African children are starving (yes these are genuinely common conversation topics for him).
My friends don't understand why I don't want to be his friend. If I try to explain then they say "oh no he isn't serious, he's only joking". Was he joking when he beat that girl up? Or when he abused kids?
I think they blame me slightly for this. One asked me "Do you think we'll ever all be friends again, like before?" as if I'm being awkward or holding everyone back.
They will purposely disregard my wishes to stay away from him, by inviting me out telling me he won't be there, and there he is.
Or if on a different day I make an effort to do something with one or more of them, they will invite him without telling me.
They want us to be friends again, but it's just not going to happen.
Despite the distance now between us, most of us are avid gamers. Same situation again. I don't want to play or talk if he's going to be there talking about raping women or whatever. Even if he's not there, if I am in the discord chat talking to them he could join at any moment. This puts me off joining.
They do not understand that I want nothing to do with him. A couple kept inviting me to group chats with him in it and such. Another kept telling me to forgive him. But why should I forgive the the most vile & toxic human I have ever met, when he's never ever even apologised, let alone changed or made up for any of the bad things he's done?
They accept Kyle's terrible behaviour and sometimes find it funny.
But that's the only issue. These guys are my bros. My family. They are really supportive & kind towards me. They've done a lot of good for me, and make the effort to get in touch often.
But it just sucks... I feel like I can barely hang out with them anymore... whether that be in person or online, because "Mr I Touch Kids" is always there.
Maybe this is my fault. Maybe I should just try to tolerate him instead of rarely spending time with my friends anymore?
Any thoughts?
[TL;DR]: Have a long-time friendship group. Kyle is a woman beating, child abusing, sexual assaulting, toxic piece of shit. Everyone in the group puts up with his behaviour. Nobody calls him out for it. But other than that these guys are great. I cut him off a while back after he threatened me with violence. Now I feel I have to avoid social situations with them due to his incredibly toxic presence . Feel that I'm losing my friends. They keep trying to get me to forgive him, or tricking me to places he's at, but I won't do that. I feel like I never get to see my friends anymore... it sucks...
Submitted December 26, 2018 at 05:30PM by Altruistic_Justice http://bit.ly/2BSgXWj
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