I [28F] had to move bc of wife’s [24F] job. Hate the new area and my job, but love her. We can’t relocate. We don’t know what to do.

Was gonna do a throwaway, but tbh this situation is such that it’s pretty obvious to anyone who knows me who it is, so whatevs. Hi, family and friends if you found this. On mobile, so sorry for run-on sentences/typos.

My wife and I were in an LDR for much of our relationship. Recently we closed the distance and got married. I left the job I got right out of college, which I loved and was great at, and moved to her. I was told by the department of ed that my teaching license was reciprocal with that state and her job can’t really move, as she works in farming. Farms can’t really move and all.

Things are great with her. I’ve been totally open with her about everything that’s going on with me and vice versa. Because here’s what’s going on: I hate my new job and the place we live.

My teaching license was NOT reciprocal. I have to go back to college, despite already having a masters degree, highly qualified teacher status, and two years of teaching under my belt. I’m starting the classes I need in the spring. Don’t know how I’m paying for them, but I’ll figure that out, I guess. In the meantime, I’m substituting.

I hate it. I hate never knowing where I’m going, or where to park, or where to pee, or where to put my lunch, or what I’m doing, or who I’m working with. The unpredictability and lack of control is killing me. I frequently have nothing to do at all, and I’m just playing movies for kids all day while sitting in the back trying to catch teens vaping. I cry after work most days. I’m not eligible for a long-term job because I’d need to have a full teaching license for that, because this is a garbage trash state full of nothing but corn, cows, and caucasians.

That’s the other thing: I hate the area we live in. I have always lived in cities or suburbs, and this is decidedly rural. It’s especially hard as a lesbian in a committed relationship. I’m constantly with so many people I can’t say “my wife and I” around, because there’s no nondiscrimination laws and I could be fired for it. It feels hostile and unwelcoming. My wife is more used to it, as she grew up here. I’m not.

There’s also nothing to DO here. I have one real hobby that takes me out of the house, and the only facilities in the state for it are only open weekends, when they’re too slammed with kids for me to get anything done, or weekdays at lunchtime, when I’m working. And I can’t afford to go during the closed sessions, because my new job pays me less than a third of my old one. I don’t have the money for my student loans and don’t qualify for income-based repayment now that I’m married.

I’ve talked to my wife about all of this, and we’re both totally at a loss on what to do. I can’t do the job I love anywhere in the state, and state lines are too far for me to cross them for work. I hate where we live, but we have to live there, because her dream job can’t move.

TL;DR: like the pop punk ballads of old tell, I gotta get out of this town. But I can’t, because my wife’s job isn’t movable.

Submitted December 27, 2018 at 08:18PM by happythoughts413 http://bit.ly/2Td1K9a