Quiet, mild-mannered Redditors, what do you do when people are aggressively confrontational? Me (23F) with clients (20s-40sMF)

I am not used to confrontation. My mom is literally a librarian and my dad is a Shakespeare professor. They never raised their voices, didn't get into any fights with each other (that I recall) or with anyone in public. The worst I've seen them do is make snide or passive-aggressive type comments if they were REALLY angry with someone.

Me, personally, never got into fights with my friends, had any major problems with other students, teachers, etc. I come from a very tiny school K-12 that basically knew each other since birth. We might have gotten into small arguments, etc but honestly we were all very hippie-dippie, flower child types. No one caused a scene. I also went to a tiny college.

I am now graduated and 23 years old, working in a low-income community as part of my social work internship/part-time job. The area and people I work with are not the type of people I have ever met and come from much rougher backgrounds. I won't get into the boring specifics of my job but I do try my best to help these individuals the best I can, but honestly, sometimes there is just so much red tape involved that I just really can't, at least not in my current role.

I have passion for my job and for soon being a fully licensed social worker. BUT. Sometimes I am so terrified and anxious about how confrontational and aggressive my clients get I seriously can't stand it. I am able to pick up when they start to get upset or annoyed at me and that's when I start getting nervous. It's not that they are being threatening - they are just simply frustrated - I get it. But they direct it at me, get very snappy, with attitude, disrespectful, sometimes acting basically like pissed off teenagers. I have cried more than a few times because of how rude and nasty they can be.

What can I do to steady my nerves? I have been advised that sometimes it just takes a few years of this to really get used to it and develop ways to either make them laugh, calm down, or just let it go. It's been a year of this for me and I am really struggling. I absolutely hate confrontation and it scares me to be in it. And I can tell sometimes the clients know I am young and easy to pick on, so they act up even worse and take advantage of.

What can I do? I know there must be other people out there like me.. how do you deal with it? What do you to do at least appear steady and calm, if not truly inside? Are there any exercises I can do?

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TLDR: I come from a background of lovey-dovey hippies who don't fight or yell or cause big problems. I currently work in a rough neighborhood doing social work and I have to deal with extremely abrasive, sometimes abusive clients and I get very stressed and nervous.. how can I deal with them better? Is it only time? How do I become stronger and used to the confrontation?

Submitted November 02, 2018 at 03:54PM by CompleteDragonfruit https://ift.tt/2AIvRis