I [f/23] planned and paid for an entire bday trip with my boyfriend [m/23] and asked him only to plan a picnic for us when we got there. He messaged me today saying he can't afford the picnic, and if I could plan that too. Reason enough to call it quits?

*We've been dating for almost two years now.

He's never been a planner. I tend to plan things way in advance, just so I can figure out budgeting, logistics, scheduling work, etc. Last year, he straight up forgot my birthday. He was stressed at work and was dealing with high pressure, and a couple days later he made it up to me, so I let it slide.

For my birthday this year, a month ago I booked an AirBnb and found all these activities for us to do in the area. I bought him tickets to his favorite artist back in the summer, and spent another ~ $50 on physical gifts he would enjoy. I know he isn't good at gift giving, so I asked him a month ago if a) he would be willing to help split costs (I booked the AirBnb, he would pay for gas/meals), and b) if since I was planning everything, if he would set up a picnic for us when we got there because I've always wanted to have one.

Today (the day we leave for AirBnb), he messages me saying he's pretty broke and won't be able to pay for as much as he thought. He asked me to buy the stuff for the picnic. I'm guessing this also means I'm paying for gas, meals, and anything else we do. He's going to get a lawsuit settlement in near the future for ~ 50K, and he told me he'd pay me back for everything, but honestly... I don't know. I'm so disappointed. I accepted that he isn't a planner, that he doesn't pay attention to things I would want, so I figured specifically giving him a single thing to do for me would be easy enough.. But what the heck. I know for a fact he buys weed every week, and eats out a lot. He doesn't know how to save really, or budget out money. I knew the trip would be more than I could afford, which is why I bought things in advance so I could slowly pay it off rather than all at once.

Will him getting money in the near future fix this? Is this just something that will never change? I kind of don't even want to go on the trip anymore, because how do you fuck up a single task? I know I'm not perfect, but I thought this would be enough for him to handle. I feel as though I make my expectations pretty well known, and it never gets fixed. It sucks because I really care for him, and in-person he's super affectionate. But in the end, he seems to immature and I don't know I can wait for him to learn how to be more responsible, or even if I should wait.

Thoughts?

TL;dr BF of 2 years disappoints me with his ability to handle money, plan things, and honestly just be responsible. I care about him and want things to change, but don't know how long it will take.

EDIT: I think it's time to end things. He's so affectionate, loving, and honestly a giant golden retriever, but the constant let downs are getting to me. Hopefully I find someone with his personality, but also more mature in the future. :(

Submitted November 02, 2018 at 08:43AM by woofybluelove https://ift.tt/2QfsxAz