CW: Ideation
I am at a loss on how to deal with my daughter's behavior and threats. She lives at home, in junior year at college, and is hoping to get into medical school soon. On the side, she has a strong passion for dancing, and is part of a troupe that joins competitions and has performances at local establishments here and there.
It was bad enough that she routinely would come home late from training, getting home at 12-1am. This is worrisome as their dance studio is in a shady part of town, but this was okay for the while. We would send her and pick her up from training every time. Quite a few sacrifices were made by all, including her, who broke her foot and had to recover over the next few months.
We went out of state once and she had to take one of the family cars to drive herself to and from training for the time we were gone. Unfortunately, this is when it started to get out of hand. Instead, she would come home at 2-3am, joining her teammates for meals outside in said shady area. One day, she lied to us all day about where she was, claiming that she had to go to school for a group project, only for us to discover that she went all the way to the other side of town to go to a man's house.
She has an "unofficial relationship" with this man, which my wife and I do not approve of because this man is an unemployed high school dropout that is several years older than her. He has said himself that he has no desire to study or work and wants to focus on dancing while he is young. We do not think this is a man our daughter would have a good future with.
We have told her to end this relationship but things keep escalating. Obviously, some funny business happened at his house, and that was not the last time. She would continue to do these things in the car. Recently, she asked for our help to get her checked up and we found out that she had a UTI. We also found out that she is routinely having sex unprotected because she says she's allergic to condoms.
We want to intervene, but we don't know what to do. We are angry enough that we want her to leave this dance team, but she has an upcoming international competition (that we are sponsoring expenses for). Every time we try to point out things that are not going well, she says she knows herself best and insists everything will be fine, and that her personal life is none of our business.
It certainly is our business when she keeps asking us for help for things that happen because of it. First a UTI, then unprotected sex - if she gets pregnant or catches an STD, it'll be us that she turns to as she has no income and we currently shoulder all her expenses, including education.
Last night, she snuck the man into our house after we repeatedly told her that we do not want him there. When we confronted her about it, she made threats on her own life, which has been a repeated pattern. She says these are the only things giving her happiness and she has so many problems in her life that make her want to end her own existence.
I wanted her to find help but she refuses to speak to a therapist or psychologist or anyone at all about what these issues are, only repeatedly saying that she wants to take herself and that she will do so if we force her to quit the team or interfere with her life.
tl;dr: how do we put a lid on our daughter's behavior and threats on her own life?
Submitted April 30, 2023 at 11:29PM by TraditionalCrab1010 https://ift.tt/L5zXwpJ
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