Everyone assumes that I (21F) am a loner and I don't know why

Hey all,

I am early 20sF and just graduated from university. All of my friends (yes sounds weird to say that considering what I am going to say next) think that I don't have any friends and am a loner. I don't have a group of friends but I have individual friends that I hang out with 1 on 1, I can think about 10 people that I consider friends from either university or back home.

Since I don't have a group of friends and never really had one since I don't do well in group situations, people think I don't have any friends at all. This results in situations such as people saying "you should reach out to more people and make more friends because its going to damage your mental health if you don't" out of NO WHERE. Literally nothing that I said prompted that, I have never suggested that I am lonely and that I don't have any friends. Comments like this really put me down and I don't know where it comes from? I don't know what about me makes it seem like I have 0 friends and it's really hurting my feelings. Often times when I go out with a friend they would make a comment about how I don't have that many friends and that I should make more. And these friends are not trying to be rude, I can tell that they are genuinely trying to look out for my well being but them saying this without any prompt is really putting me down. It's making me not want to go out with anyone at all.

For more insight, I have no issues getting into relationships/getting guys but it is a bit more difficult for me to make friends since I am kind of shy. When I talk to people 1:1 I feel completely normal/not shy, only shy in group situations. I would love to know what it is about me that makes EVERYONE think that I am a loner... I would appreciate any advice!

TLDR: People often assume that I am a loner and tell me to make friends and I have no idea what prompts these comments. I think its because I don't have a friend group but that doesn't mean I have 0 friends, and these comments really hurt me despite being well-intentioned

Submitted May 07, 2023 at 09:49PM by cheezits4567 https://ift.tt/r2yueFa