I (F18) just broke up with my ex-boyfriend after a bad relationship and my best friend (M18) just confessed his feelings for me.

Hi guys, I’m using this as a throwaway account. So to give some context, I and my ex-boyfriend have been off and on for 4 years and just a few days ago I cut it off officially. The relationship was just unhealthy and I knew it was just hurting me, he stepped out during the relationship and claimed we were on a break-even though he hadn’t asked or even said we were on a break.

He didn’t stand up for me or protect me when his friend had made sexual remarks about me, I told him I felt violated and he left me to defend myself. When we first started dating, I told him that I didn’t want to have any sexual contact let alone a relationship with someone who didn’t see something with me in the future, I wanted my first time to be special and with someone who I know will love me just as much, turns out that he lied and said he barely started loving me and seeing a future with me, which broke me. I know that’s a big expectation, but I just wanted it to be special.

Then as of recently, he lied about his drug use and was being inconsistent when he’d tell me that he was going to quit, some days he said he would and others he said he wouldn’t and his mother has been making various racist regards about me as of recently which made me uncomfortable. There’s more, but that’s the main basis of what had happened. Now to my friend, I’d say he’s been my best friend for three years straight and he’s always been there.

I’ve never really had an actual best friend until I met him, I’ve told him everything and our friendship saved me and my mental health while it was declining, I can genuinely say that he’s nurtured me into loving myself and healing past trauma. He really means a lot to me and I really love our bond, I always did admire how great of a person he was when it came to the way he respected women and just people in general.

He’s never had a girlfriend or been in a relationship, but he has talked to girls, he’s always told me and our friend group that he doesn’t date because there isn’t a point unless you see a future with the person and that he’d want to wait for the right person. A couple of days ago when we were hanging out, he told me that he loved me, at first I thought in just a friendly way but he later clarified that he loved me more than a friend. He told me that he respects me and wants to do everything he can to make me happy, I’ve never been the best a choosing boys but he’s different. Not to be that person, but I mean it.

He told me he’d talk to my mom about it and even ask for her permission, he said he wants me to feel safe, and just a lot of things I’ve never heard before. I do think I have feelings for him, I do believe I love him. I talked to my mom about it and she told me to take it slow because it’s important that people don’t think I left my ex for my best friend, or that he’s my rebound either. I just feel weird and guilty because I don’t feel bad for my ex, I don’t hold any kind of weight from him after everything, the best way to explain it would be some sort of resentment. I know I should be careful about pursuing this and running the risk of going to the next level with him, but what do I do?

TLDR; I just broke up with my ex-boyfriend after a bad relationship and my best friend just confessed his feelings for me. What do I do?

Submitted May 08, 2022 at 07:32PM by Throwawayreddoot https://ift.tt/UAounrL