I’ve been with my boyfriend (23) for 8 months now. When we started I was so happy and bright and felt good about myself. I feel now, worthless and ugly and just awful. I want to leave. I don’t feel loved, even though he says he does. He constantly makes jabs at me, everything I say or talk about is a joke, even if it’s serious. I try to talk to him about something for real and he makes a joke or belittles me. I got upset at him once at a joke he said and he said he feels like I want to be mad at him, all while being incredibly withdrawn and crying. He made me feel so awful by saying that so I told him I was so sorry and I would try and work on my sensitivity. I try and open up to him about things that are serious and he acts as if he couldn’t care less. He doesn’t respond at all or participate in a way that makes me think he is invested in me or what I’m saying. I try and talk about my anxiety and he doesn’t care to listen and downplays it. He often withdraws and just is so quiet and doesn’t say barely anything to me. He playfully hits me often. I’ve told him I hate this, and he says he will stop. It never does. Today, he slapped me on the back so hard, I got so angry and hurt and he only apologized I think because we were in public. Another time he kept hitting me with an umbrella, I told him multiple times it hurt and he didn’t care and kept laughing. It was my birthday. We never do anything I want, and the couple times we have he’s had such a bad attitude. He says right now one of his hobbies is his main priority and doesn’t want to waste his time on dumb stuff. He is also very selfish in bed. He’s never made me orgasm. I once said to him playfully that he doesn’t get to orgasm until I do. I said this in hopes he would (for once) pay attention to my orgasm instead of using me as a sex doll. He seemed frustrated or upset. He asked if I came and I said no. He got up and took a shower, incredibly upset. I was going to show him what works for me, but he said he was done. In the past he has never been that upset about not making me orgasm, so it made me feel he was only upset this time because he didn’t get to cum either.
I moved in with him after working at a resort this summer. My family lives 4 hours away. I want to leave so bad, because I am so unhappy..but I feel so guilty and feel as if I am overreacting and being too sensitive. He is very sweet sometimes, which makes me feel like I am in the wrong. But then he is so heartless the other times. I am beginning to think he doesn’t have any empathy, or not a lot. I work at his family members restaurant, so I feel like if I up and leave, I am putting her out too. I just need to leave, and be alone and by myself again because I was so free and happy. But the other part of me loves him so much and feel I’m breaking his heart for no reason. I need advice on what to do, or if I’m overreacting. I need some major reassurance if I’m being honest because I feel gaslit. Sorry this post was everywhere. I have a lot on my mind and I just wanted there to be enough examples and scenarios to give me some advice.
TLDR; I think I need to leave this relationship, but am afraid and don’t know how. I love him, but feel terrible. Am I being too sensitive or am I overreacting? My gut says leave, but the other part says you’re being too sensitive and to stay put because he loves you.
Submitted October 31, 2021 at 07:53PM by Prestigious-Cap-61 https://ift.tt/3pW5AqP
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