Here is some background: My husband is german and his ex wife is also German. They taught their daughter German which I 100% support. I am American and we live in the United States. We have a son and a daughter together. We had my stepdaughter 50% of the time and I love her very much.
Here is the problem. My husband's ex wife clearly was the one teaching their daughter German, and they spoke it with each other which made it very easy to learn. Even now, they speak German when they make co-parenting decisions. We speak English to each other and now our kids don't speak German and I know a few phrases but not enough. I am working on it.
My stepdaughter only speaks to her father in German, and I think it is a bit rude given I don't understand. I support them speaking German privately but not while I am there. I decided to talk to my stepdaughter about this, and she got very angry. She accused me of being racist and jealous of their father/daughter relationship. She accused me of wanting her dad all to myself and for the kids we have together. She told me I am a SAHM and have had lots of time to learn German so I am nothing but a jealous racist, and she doesn't feel comfortable being around me anymore. Her dad agreed with me that it was rude she spoke German in front of me, but now that my stepdaughter hasn't been over in months, and is barely speaking to him, he is changing his tune. He has been on the phone a lot and I am scared he is planning on leaving me to get his daughter back. I am also scared that I will never have a relationship with my stepdaughter again because I love and miss her so much it hurts. Her mom and I previously got along, but now she has been very cold after her daughter told her I am racist
TL;DR: My stepdaughter accused me of being racist and it is ruining several relationships
Submitted November 05, 2021 at 08:25AM by Ok-Seat9953 https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/qndir7/i_am_scared_that_my_38f_husband_39m_will_leave_me/?utm_source=ifttt
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