I [23F] haven’t been attracted to my boyfriend [23M] ever since going off birth control.

When I met my boyfriend 4 years ago I was on the birth control pill. We didn’t have the best sex life but we had a great relationship, and things have been going really well. (edit: I was definitely attracted to him before this happened, I was actually the one with the higher sex drive and would initiate more often than he did)

Birth control made me miserable. I’ve been on it since I was 16 and it has always given me horrible mood swings and nausea. I switched to the implant 2 years ago and honestly I think it was even worse. I finally decided to go off birth control altogether a year ago, and my mental state has been so much better since. My boyfriend supported me through this and we use condoms now.

Shortly after getting the implant removed, I noticed my libido changing a lot. I was overwhelming attracted to other people, and not so much to my boyfriend. I still loved him but I felt no spark or anything when he touched me. It felt like touching a friend. I couldn’t make myself feel the same way I had and just kind of went through the motions. I didn’t tell him about this because I thought my hormones would go back to normal and this would stop. I also really didn’t know how you tell someone you aren’t attracted to them anymore but you still love them.

Fast forward to now and I think things are worse. I love him as much as ever but I feel weird when he touches me intimately. It’s not just that I don’t feel anything, I almost feel like I want him to stop. We just reunited after a little time long distance and I feel like such an asshole because we should have had a big romantic moment and I couldn’t make myself do it.

I know it’s reaching a point where I have to talk to him about it but I don’t know what to say. Or what solution we could even come to. I don’t want him to get hurt but I’m worried that this is only going to end one way. I don’t think I’m ready to break up, I love him and it’s a very healthy and loving relationship. I feel like this is all my fault but I still don’t know what I can do.

Tl;dr: after going off birth control, my attraction to my boyfriend has diminished to the point where I’m really hesitant to be intimate, and I don’t know how to tell him.

Submitted November 23, 2021 at 05:47AM by throh-ah-way https://ift.tt/3CK4uBh