Wife [32f] of 2 years reacts very poorly when I [35m] don’t want sex and almost takes it as a personal offense. How handle this moving forward?

In general, we have very similar sex drives and want to have sex in similar amounts over the week/month.

However, she rejects sex more often than I do, generally because she naturally needs a bit more sleep than I do and because of periods. But if I say I don’t want sex, she generally reacts very emotionally and like it’s a personal offense that means something’s wrong between us.

I mean, yeah, it sucks to be horny when your partner doesn’t want it but I guess shit happens and that’s it. I can almost remember every time I’ve rejected sex because of her reactions. The first I rejected her she literally cried. We had been dating for like 3 or 4 months and she thought I had lost attraction for her because why else would I reject sex, right?

So, we’ve had this talk several times about how I’m turning down sex because I’m tired or just plain not in the mood, or we had sex yesterday and I’m not feeling it today, and it has nothing to do with her/her body/my attraction for her, sometimes sex is not in your plans for the day.

Yet she still gets offended. Lately it’s been more of a thing again because cold weather brings my libido way the fuck down and we are in the last weeks of fall here, so it might even get worse in the next few months before it gets better.

I’m totally functional, my penis works 100%, I exercise 5 times a week, I’m pretty sure it’s literally just the weather, but she acted like I was personally rejecting her because I rejected sex several times over the course of 2 weeks or so, and now she thinks I’m rejecting her because I find her body unattractive and even asked me if was watching too much porn, which I’m not.

I want to clarify that I’m very happy with her, we are extremely compatible in most of the major areas of our life/personality and I’m very much attracted to her, but sometimes I want to literally just Netflix and chill, bake cookies, brush her hair, talk about nail polish, play Twister, shit like that with no genitals involved.

How to work through this bizarre insecurity of hers so she finally breaks away from “rejecting sex = I don’t find you attractive anymore” mindset? Which, might I add, is hypocritical because when she rejects me I never accuse her of losing attraction for me.

tl;dr: My wife gets personally offended when I reject sex, which happens the most during cold seasons like right now. How to get her out of this mindset once and for all?

Submitted June 01, 2021 at 12:47PM by Silver-True https://ift.tt/3wN0ai0