TL:DR My boyfriend wants me to come off my meds and quit my job so I have more time to lose weight for him. It’s exacerbating my stress related mental health issues. What should I do?
We are just coming out of Covid lockdowns. We have BOTH put on weight - nearly the exact same amount. I (35f) am not obese, however I’ve gone up about a dress size and a half during the past year of lockdown. He (41M) has gone up up two sizes (I never point this out ever because I think it’s hurtful to do so and I don’t really care). I’ve gone through phases of dieting and excercise but my job has been very full on and stressful during Covid and I haven’t always had the time or money to buy healthy food (we live in a rural area with no car so when panic buyers came driving out to our village and stripped local stores bare there literally wasn’t any fresh meat or vegetables to buy and we had to make do with what was left. Only people with very specific health needs were allocated food deliveries from the big supermarkets hence dieting becoming stressful & difficult).
I’m still working from home. I have more on than usual because there’s an important deadline coming up on the 8th which could mean the difference between keeping or losing my job. If I lose my job I can’t keep up seeing my therapist and won’t be able to afford the retraining course I was about to go on in September. I will have to wait an entire year AGAIN if I cant raise the money for it.
He is a mature student, doesn’t have a side job or anything so at the moment he’s on holiday. He spends all day everyday at home playing computer games and so he has too much time on his hands and uses none of it effectively. He comes in and disturbs me every day to make comments about my weight. How I should skyve off work to go for a run and lose weight for him instead etc etc.
I tell him I am aware that could be healthier but right now I am extremely busy and I’m having severe stress problems because of the extra pressure he’s putting me under to look nice for him while I’m working at home. I’ve said I would like to exercise more, I will when I have time. I have a diet planned when I have time to cook more(he’s more than welcome to take over some of the chores like cooking if it means that much to him - he hasn’t).
I have bought a gym membership to use after the very specific work deadline I have repeatedly told him about but as of now keeping my job is a priority for me. My work is pretty full on and very stressful and i do not have time for his demands. I have CPTSD and stress related illnesses. I am seeing a doctor who has prescribed medication, side effect of this however is weight gain and there’s no alternative. I’m in trauma therapy - I pay for this with my own wages.
His comments have become increasingly more offensive towards me. He belittles my job and tells me to quit (so I become completely financially dependant on him). He has now escalated, taken to ridiculing my disability. I warned him repeatedly that he was going too far but he didn’t stop. Two days ago I snapped. We had a screaming row. I’ve told him to stop speaking to me and stay away from me (difficult in our tiny flat) so I can at least try to keep it together long enough to not lose my income. I’m only asking for 1 week of peace without being berated and it’s too much. I’ve even been looking to rent somewhere else for a week but this is a huge expense and will make work harder because I don’t have all my files and equipment around me. My mental health is competing cracking and he doesn’t seem to care it’s him pushing me over the edge. I don’t have time to move out. I don’t know what to do.
Submitted June 04, 2021 at 01:28AM by ArcadiaLuxx https://ift.tt/3vUf8CL
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