We’ve been seeing eachother for about 2-3ish months, it started quite casually so I had no expectations when we first started dating. I was surprised when COVID restrictions lifted near us that he suggested a few ‘real’ dates, because I thought we were just casual to be honest, but it was a pleasant surprise. Since then I think we’ve grown quite close.
It’s important to note that I suffer from relationship anxiety, because I have had a pattern of dating guys for 3-4 months and then them not wanting to commit to me. This really did a number on my self esteem and confidence with the dating, after some therapy I have realised that I was gravitating towards emotionally unavailable men which is why I was stuck in that pattern. I’ve come a long way but I still struggle with a fear of sudden abandonment due to those experiences. My brain says ‘for whatever reason, guys like you enough to keep you around, but they never want to commit’
Anyhoo, this guy was fantastic because he was a good communicator, good at making plans which is a big thing for me, and I was starting to really like him. It felt reciprocated.
In the last 2-3 weeks he’s stopped making plans even though we saw eachother twice because I arranged it. I decided to check in with him to see if he was still keen to get to know me and make plans etc. I don’t feel I quite know him well enough for a relationship, but I do see it as a possibility in the future. When I told him how I was feeling unsure, he suggested to meet up and discuss it. He said he was sorry I was feeling that way, and that he’d love to keep making plans. But he said wasn’t sure where it would lead yet. He also said that he has been quite guarded ever since he dated someone last year for 6 months and they suddenly ended it with him. When I told him I had been feeling kind of crappy he got a bit overwhelmed and teared up.
I was happy with his open communication about it and willingness to meet my needs and make plans. I guess now I’m just a bit triggered by his ‘not knowing where it will lead’ - am I just falling into another trap of false hope? Is his previous dating story a red flag? Should I cut my losses basically. Because of my relationship anxiety, I struggle with uncertain situations
TLDR - guy is meeting my needs but I’m not sure if I should cut my losses and read between the lines
Submitted May 31, 2021 at 05:40AM by mambono5555 https://ift.tt/3wKEXFu
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