A few weeks ago my roommate tried to set me up with her friend who we'll call Matt. We went on a double date with this other guy, 'Dan'. My roommate kissed Dan two months ago at a party. They were going to hook up but never ended up happening. Roommate says maybe it'll happen after this double date. So on this double date, I don't find Matt my type but I really like Dan and feel a connection w him. I don't want to cause drama w my roommate so I don't do anything about it. Dan adds me on Instagram the next day.
A week later, she says Matt had said some negative things about Dan, she was getting some intuitive bad vibes, and also she felt like he was too pushy about hanging out. I ask her if she feels okay with me talking to him and she tells me oh totally! it's 100% fine. I'm over it. I end up messaging him about this band we talked about when we first met and soon we are chatting. He ends up asking me to come over and teach him some jazz piano which turns into three separate dates.
Date 3 goes really well in some ways: we talk for hours, he told me he can fully be himself with me, he enjoys hanging out with me, he kissed me passionately multiple times. A bottle of wine in I invite him over. I ask him if it will be awkward with my roommate there. He seems hesitant at first but comes over. We have the best sex I've ever had; he's respectful, and really attentive to my gratification. After he tells me how nice it was to be there with me, he stays and we talk for a long time and cuddle, kisses me on the forehead and then when he gets home he sends a sweet message.
The thing was, he kept bringing up my roommate in ways that made me feel pretty bummed out.
-10 minutes into the third date, he asked how my roommate is doing
-he went on a tangent about how he thinks that Matt must've said something really bad about him to my roommate to make her stop talking to him and he is pissed off at Matt
-he brings it up again after we have sex. says he needs to talk to my roommate to clear the air because he doesn't know why she just stopped talking to him and he thinks she thinks he's a bad person. He says she is "funny and an interesting person". I asked him if he had feelings for her and he said no, no I just don't want her to think I'm a bad person and have a bad reputation. And he wants to know if Matt is saying shit about him to women.
-he asks is she is lonely because they both recently moved here.
-A week before we started dating I had posted an instagram photo of her on the beach. Dan must have deleted me on instagram after seeing it, which I know because he re-added me when we started talking.
I'm feeling pretty down now. He seems to like me a lot but why would he keep bringing her up? I feel like next time I see him I should point out how much he talked about her and that I need to know if he still has feelings for her. I don't want to be anyone's second choice and I don't want to get hurt. What should I do? His behaviour seems to indicate that he has feelings for her still, right? Any advice/insight is greatly appreciated.
TLDR: I've just started dating a guy my roommate almost hooked up with and he seems to be fixated on why she stopped talking to him still even though he has a good connection with me.
Submitted May 24, 2020 at 12:04PM by cayenne4 https://ift.tt/3cVumOq
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