My parents divorced when I was really young but when I was about 9, my dad (53M) became romantically involved with the woman who would eventually become my stepmother. They eventually got married and she and her son (28M) moved in with me and my dad in our house. Back when they were dating and she first moved in I never had a problem with her, but when I became a teenager and her son decided not to go back to college was when she started treating me like something that crawled out of the sewer leaving a trail behind it. For example, for years now I haven't been able to be in the same room with her without her making a passive-aggressive disgusted scoff, or muttering an obscenity. Even when I left to attend college and came back during holidays and breaks she would keep up this behavior. Important to note, I graduated from college in December and moved back in with my dad until I could find a full time job in either my or another city, which is why I've been waiting to move to an apartment. But since I've moved back in, she has been much more open with her complete and utter contempt for me. For instance, my dad likes to make dinner for me and sit with me while I eat because it gives us an opportunity to talk and be together. But the entire time my stepmother will be sitting on the couch in the living room (visible from the dinner table) and openly give me the evil eye. But when my dad is outside doing yard work or out biking, she will complain out loud, loud enough for me to hear where I am in the house, about either the smell of the dinner, how he cooks for me every night (which he doesn't mind, I've asked him), or how we have more leftovers to throw away (I've started to avoid eating lunch just so I don't run into her). But I don't just live with my dad, every week I go to live at my mom's house, and am back the next week, which I do out of habit from visitation when I was a kid. So she'll openly make comments like "Thank God he's leaving tomorrow" or "Well at least I won't have to see him next weekend." I've discussed this with my stepbrother, and he believes that she treats me so badly because I'm a constant reminder that my dad was with another woman before her. She also drinks and smokes all the time, is in poor health, and constantly feels terrible. My issue is I am considering just living with my mom and stepfather (who treats me like I'm his own son) and cutting her out of my life completely. But I love my dad and don't want to go no contact with him or be responsible for ending his happy (on his part) marriage. Please help me figure out what to do.
TL;DR - My stepmother very openly hates me but I still want to have a relationship with my dad without destroying his marriage.
Submitted April 30, 2020 at 07:56PM by Magnoss https://ift.tt/35kAwEO
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