My (31F) boyfriend (34M) of 10 months is acting like a child since my friend (27F) started staying with me.

So I needed a medical procedure done mid October. This was planned. I own a 2000sqft 4 bedroom house. There is plenty of room.

My boyfriend has his own rental house and does not live with me. He struggles to pay his bills though and definitely enjoys saving utility money by staying with me.

My female bff moved back to the city I'm in 2 weeks after my procedure. This was also planned. She is staying with me until end of December and is actively job hunting and looking at houses.

My boyfriend helped with my procedure and has been staying with me as well since before my friend got here. He has made my life miserable since about a week after she arrived.

My friend is a good guest. She cleans up after herself, buys most her own food, helps out, is respectful of my sleep schedule, regularly gives me and my boyfriend space, etc... A good guest who is grateful and helpful and I'm happy to have her around. She's actively job hunting and looking at houses. She's not taking advantage of the situation at all and is acting like an adult.

My boyfriend has taken to not doing much of anything anymore to help and not buying food. He is increasingly getting worse. Couple examples...

• He has taken to me doing all his laundry despite my recovery. Basically overflows my hamper until I have to do laundry, will feign ignorance at me having done it, and when he does discover this he will take a couple things he needs for the day out of the dryer and leave the rest for me or my friend to fold and move so my friend and I can keep using the laundry machines.

• If my friend is watching TV and uses the bathroom he will change it while she's up. She always asks ahead of time if she can use the TV. He will just take it over whenever.

• He has started just coming to my house when I'm not home. This is really annoying to me and my friend. He says he doesn't want to use his heat because he's broke. It's to the point when I leave I have to tell him he needs to go home on a regular basis but he'll still come over before I'm off work or whatever. And then texts me constantly asking where I am and when I'll be home.

• When he's annoyed at me, usually when I mention something like the above that's becoming an issue, he will purposefully be unhelpful, leave messes, and give people the silent treatment in the common areas.

• There is zero physical intimacy now in the relationship.

So I finally last night asked him for space for one night because I'm blowing up at this stuff. He said he feels I'm only happy around my friend and that he's not welcome anymore and I make him feel like a failure. Said "you know I'm willing to help and do whatever needs to be done" so I kinda lost it and listed everything I am doing for him while in recovery and everything he isn't doing to help and said he needed to go home. He said he's putting his whole life on hold for me and we argued. This is bull rap, he literally plays video games all the time while I clean up and make food and is at a dead end job not doing anything to improve his life. He eventually did go home because I was pissed.

So today he's texting me how unwelcome he feels some more and is openly jealous of my friend. A lot of his stuff is here and I know he needs some of it so he's gotta come by after work around 11pm tonight and I'm positive I'll be guilted.

My friend is at the point she can't handle him. She's really tried but is fed up. He makes her uncomfortable with his acting out. She out if respect for my house and me just goes to her room to avoid conflict.

I do admit lately when her and I are hanging out and he shows up we get quiet and it's obviously tense. I feel it's unfair to him to do this but it's not on purpose just things are so awkward. I know her staying here changed our dynamic but it's my house, I needed the help, it's temporary, and I discussed it with him beforehand and he said he was fine with it.

Is this remotely salvageable??? I'm shocked at his behavior and it's just getting worse. How do I handle this situation?

TL;DR: Boyfriend of 10 months is staying with me during medical recovery. My bff moved to town and is also staying with me for two months to help and to find a job/house. She's a good guest. Boyfriend has started acting childish because he is jealous and is being difficult when I ask for a night alone. He is here when I'm not and making my friend uncomfortable. Not sure what to do

Submitted December 01, 2019 at 01:50PM by thr0wit3 https://ift.tt/37YKrRd