My [30m] fiance [32m] of 5 years are getting married in 3 weeks and he has admitted he wants to sleep with other people. I’ve said I cant and he’s fine with this, but i’m still really upset.

Just for the record, we’re two gay males and open relationships are a LOT more common in the gay world compared to the straight word.

Basically the topic of threesomes and open relationships came up between us a couple of months ago. He basically said threesomes are a no deal for him, and almost a dealbreaker if I wanted one but could be open to an open relationship down the track. This came as a huge surprise to me as I have always said throughout our entire relationship, that’s something i’m not interested in, and he was the same. Early in our relationship he even got pissed off once when I jokingly said he could have a hallpass for Drake. Now that was ~5 years ago and things change, which is totally fine. When he brought up the open relationship stuff a couple of months ago, I reacted quite immaturely and asked if this is something he wanted, did he not enjoy having sex with me. The next day, I calmed down and said it is a possibility but also don’t be surprised if my answer is no. He was a bit pissed off that I was bringing it up again and basically said “I never said I wanted one, just that it may be a possibility for the future.”

Fast forward to yesterday and the topic comes up again and we have an open chat about it stating if it was something we were to do it would be purely NSA type stuff (nothing emotional) and what not.

Over the next 24 hours I was thinking about it all and basically came to the conclusion that it’s not something i’m capable of doing. I honestly think it would impact my mental health too much. And the thought of being at home by myself while he’s sucking some random dudes dick fills me with anxiety and ultimately makes me depressed. I basically layed this all out to him, and he admitted that it’s something that he did want to try, but not something he needed. He said he would never ever want me to feel uncomfortable like that and just figured it might be something fun or exciting to try for a little while, but if that’s how I feel, then we wouldn’t do it as i’m his priority. I said if it’s something he really wanted, I would be willing to give it a go for him, to which he said I would only ever want to do it if I do too: I appreciated all of this but there’s just something I can’t shake. The fact that 6 months when it was brought up and he got pissed at me for saying it’s not something i’m 100% capable of doing and everything.

Am I being shit for still being upset by this? We’re 3 weeks away from getting married and hooking up with random dudes seems to be on his mind which ultimately just makes me feel really damn uncomfortable. Should I just chalk this up to a whatever type thing and move on as he said he’s fine not to do it?

TLDR Fiance who i’m marrying in 3 weeks time admitted after getting pissed off at me a while back that he does indeed want to open up the relationship. We talked it out and I said I don’t think I could and he was fine with this - do I have reason to be upset/pissed still?

Submitted December 08, 2019 at 08:58AM by whattodo86 https://ift.tt/36eHpqp