Apologies for any typos. I’m mobile and frankly at my wits’ end.
My boyfriend and I met during my senior year of high school and his freshman year of college. We started dating a year later, and because of some scheduling stuff we actually wound up graduating the same year. We both got jobs and moved in together.
Over the past year or so that we’ve been living together, he’s started making comments about food, particularly desserts. Things like do you really need that? And just tonight he asked me why I was getting one single cookie because it was going to ruin the workout we have planned... for Saturday.
For reference, I am not overweight. Far from it. I have gained about 30 pounds since we met, but I am 5’9” and spent most of my life underweight. I’ve been hovering comfortably at 150 lbs for the better part of a year now and while I’m not stick skinny anymore, I actually have a figure. I kind of like it.
He, on the other hand, was kind of chunky as a kid and is now just the teeniest, tiniest bit overweight (like literally just barely, by 5-10 lbs). His immediate family is also rather overweight. When we met he was ripped, but I actually kind of like him with a little fluff. But if he’s happier at a lower weight, I love him that way too and he knows all this because I tell him how sexy he is all. The. Time. But am always supportive of him eating how he wants or going to the gym or whatever.
I’ve tried asking him to stop. I’ve tried telling him to stop. I’ve asked if he wants me to lose weight and he says he’s concerned about my health, so I asked him if he wants to come to a doctor’s appointment with me and he said no. I’ve flipped out about it twice now (and always apologized) because I am so fucking tired of having my food policed. If I want one cookie I should have it. If I want five cookies one day honestly who cares?? I think he’s projecting but I don’t know how to make it stop and I really can’t take it anymore. We don’t have sex because I feel like he’s more critical of my heavier (compared to when we met) body.
How do I make him stop? Do I need to get more blunt? Set an ultimatum? Tell him we need couples counseling? He’s so funny and (generally) kind and we have so much in common. He’s been there for me through a lot of family trauma. I want to marry him, but this is a big problem for me.
TL;DR I went from underweight to normal weight over the course of my 4-year relationship. Boyfriend has been making shitty comments about me eating dessert for a little while now and I don’t know what to do about it. I’m at the end of my rope.
Submitted December 04, 2019 at 07:00PM by Competitive-Suspect https://ift.tt/2DPJOM0
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