Boyfriend made plans to pop the question, chickened out and gave me my special engagement ring as a promise ring. Now says he feels "pressured".

Me (21F) and my boyfriend (23M) have been living together for about 6 months We've been dating for 2 years and some change (don't know exactly how long) and I had told him that before we moved in together I wanted to get engaged. The reason behind this, which he also knew and agreed with, was that this is a really big step for us and I want to know that this relationship is actually going to go somewhere. We had talked before about getting married and it's something we both want to do. When I told him I wanted to get engaged, he agreed and said it was a good idea.

He was in the military at the time and was getting deployed to Romania before we were going to move in together. Before he left, he told me he had been thinking a lot about us getting engaged and he asked me for my ring size. I accidentally saw the ring box in the back seat of his car the night before he left but I didn't say anything. But I was excited! All the time while he was gone in Romania, I kept that excitement and happiness in my heart to make missing him less miserable. We wrote letters to each other while he was away and they were wonderful. We moved in together pretty much as soon as he came back. Literally within a couple days. I was okay with that because I knew he was going to ask me soon.

The problem was...the weeks turned into months and suddenly we'd been together for 3 months and he still hadn't asked me...I knew he had the ring, I could see it in his safe every time he opened it. I just didn't know why he was waiting so long. So I finally got up the courage to ask him about it.

He admitted to me that he had been planning to ask me the night he got him. He had written me a letter that he was going to present to me when he came home. It was a very sweet poem, asking me to marry him. He showed me the letter and told me about how he had planned to do it...he then just didn't do it. His parents divorced when he was a child, and now he has commitment issues. I started crying and explained to him that I was heartbroken. That I had held onto this idea for so long while he was gone, and that finding out that he just chickened out broke my heart. Then he pulled out the ring. The ring that I had mentioned to him one time because I really liked the unique look. It was beautiful and breath taking and everything I imagined. And he simply handed it to me and told me to use it as a promise ring. A PROMISE RING! The ring that he had bought to ask me to marry him, and I was supposed to just have it as a promise ring. I was understandable pissed. But he didn't understand it at all. And honestly, at this point I don't know what to do. I don't know if he just has commitment issues or if I've done something wrong and that's why he won't ask. Or if he's just leading me on. He doesn't like it when I talk about it now and says that now he feels pressured and that I need to lay off, even though he originally agreed to it. I honestly feel a little betrayed.

TL;DR! Boyfriend made plans to pop the question, chickened out and gave me my special engagement ring as a promise ring. Now says he feels "pressured". Not sure what to do now.

Submitted December 08, 2019 at 11:28AM by SunshineMassacre https://ift.tt/3474bip