I (20F) wanted to go on a date with my SO(20M) of five months to the planetarium for Christmas. I've never been taken out on a date even in my past relationships. It's sad. I know. It's his first relationship so I understand that he is not obligated to know what to do and what not to do all the time.
But he uses it as an excuse amongst other excuses. Christmas means a lot to me. I want to spend it with family and loved ones. I don't know if he realized that but I did make it very clear to him that I wanted to spend it meaningfully. He has said that he'll try to put more effort in the relationship but I felt no effort or action on his part and have spoken up about it but he gets defensive and brings up reasons all the time.
I am frustrated and hurt at this point. So I asked him out in a passive aggressive way(shouldn't have done that) that since he's not taking me out in my lifetime if we could go there for Christmas. To which he says why don't I take him there which is what I am doing. He's happy to go to the planetarium.
I steer the conversation towards my concern about the "no effort situation" and asked him if he has ever thought of taking me out and that it gives me the impression that he makes no effort and it hurts me. He tells me his reasons. I suggest fun activities that don't require spending money on expensive things. His response is "I take you out on a date... I die" I call him out on his excuse. He retaliates with "You've never taken me out on a date either..so...shut up" following with more excuses. In my defense I have tried to take him out but he dismissed calling it a date saying it's not our first. I think he believes a date is "eating at a place".
He cancels on me the next day saying he might not be free since he might be taking his friend to church as he's done for the past two years. I have nothing against church goers. I'm obviously hurt and he's just being petty. I try to ask other people to go with and even thought I'd rather go alone. But this whole thing had hurt me so much that I decided to just stay in at my miserable dorm eating ramen so my Christmas is ruined.
I have been through enough emotional abuse in my past relationships and had promised myself that I would take shit from no one anymore. I'm confused as to if I should try harder or prevent myself from wasting anymore time like I wasted two years of my life. People of reddit, help.
TL:dr Boyfriend cancels on Christmas date after discussion over "lack of effort" on his part. OP wondering if she should put more effort or not take anymore shit.
Submitted December 25, 2019 at 04:40AM by anonculpa25 https://ift.tt/34Xj1IK
No comments:
Post a Comment