Sorry if the format is odd, I’m on mobile.
Today (F35) my husband (M37) and I had a serious conversation with our kids about paying for college. We explained that we do not have enough money to pay for their college and that they would need to save up money, get scholarships, and possibly take out loans.
My husband and I decided that if they go to a local school in the area they could continue to live at home rent free and we’d keep paying for groceries, personal hygiene products, etcetera. We decided that after they completed a year of college and depending on where we were financially, we could help pay for some of the school as long as they are doing well in their classes. This was explained to them. My daughter (14F) did not seem surprised, and was glad we had the conversation, but my son (16M) got angry.
He believes that as parents we should pay for his school no matter where he goes, and that we owe him complete financial support.
My husband and I make around $60,000 a year, he’s a general manager of a fast food restaurant and I work in a factory. I would have thought that my kids would have the common sense to know that we aren’t rich. But we also didn’t tell them that we weren’t paying for school until today, and before that my son thought we’d pay everything and my daughter realized ahead of time that we don’t intend to pay for school.
We originally planned on saving up for their school, but with our income it’s hard to start a college saving fund. My son doesn’t try in school (C- average) and all he cares about is playing sports and trying to impress his friends. He had the opportunity to do half-days at school and spent the other half getting free vocational school training through the school system. He says he wants to be an accountant but never tried to take the business related classes at school. Everything is a big game to him and he just wants to use school as an excuse to party.
He says he wants to go to all these different schools that cost over $20,000 a year and I told him he should go to the community college by our house and from there decide if college is for him. He says we should have never had him if we didn’t plan to pay for his school.
Our daughter doesn’t have entitlement issues. I don’t know where my son gets his from.
Am I wrong for not paying for his school? How can I help him understand that he needs to try in school if he wants help? Am I an asshole for not having the financial means to pay for my son to go to college? What can I do to help my son?
TL;DR My son (M16) thinks my husband (37M) and I (35F) should pay for him to go to whatever school he wants even though we have a house hold income of $60,000 and he doesn’t try in school. How can I help him understand why we can’t pay for school and convince him to go to community college instead?
Submitted November 23, 2019 at 10:13PM by Throwaway40822k https://ift.tt/2qF43sY
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