Hi Reddit,
Last night, my 3 year relationship ended unexpectedly. I came home excited to see him to find him crying. When I asked what was wrong, he said he was unhappy with the relationship and wanted to break up. He is a man of little words and has a hard time sharing his feelings. The little that he said was that he was unhappy for a long time and there was a personality mismatch. I am too ambitious for him and he didn't want or (or see how) he fit into it.
I am completely heart broken but I understand where he is coming from. Last month I told him I had similar feelings about where this was going - and i was upset the relationship had no path. His solution was that he tries to pretend to move in. We will have Sundays to talk about our feelings and work from there. That this relationship means a lot to him and he wanted to make a change.
He is a man of little words, super low energy, introverted, sometimes hard to read. (His default is neutral). He liks his down time and his alone time. I'm extroverted and will over commit to everything. I will admit, this pass month I have been busy with work travel and other activites I could have cut off if I knew it bothered him. (Not sure given he couldn't really articulate why he was unhappy). But I'm sure I didn't give him enough attention that he may have needed or deserved. There were other stressors and some of it was external to our situation.
FYI, I know he is upset about the breakup.
When he broke up, it was a quick conversation - 10 minutes. And I was in a bit of shock given that he kept telling me that everything was fine before now. This is a bit of a 180. He wasn't mean about it but I told him I wanted to be alone and for him to leave. I didn't want him to see me cry. I really regret that because it is possible that may be the last time I see him.
Some of his items are still in my house. And I wanted to leave him a note. Basically, the note is to tell him that
- What he did took courage.
- That I don't want him to be unhappy.
- And while I am sad, I understand. I love him enough to work through the differences, but if his heart isn't in it, a lack luster relationship wouldnt be good for either of us.
- And I wanted to say thank you for the past 3 years. That they did mean a lot to me and I will continue on with fond memories.
- And that I hope he finds his happiness - whatever that looks like.
I'm trying to figure out if I should give it to him. Reguardless if he reads it or not, it will give me closure. I hope it will give it to him. So Reddit, what are your opinions?
tl;dr - Boyfriend broke a 3 year relationship. I am extremely upset. But I understand. I want to leave him a note to tell him I understand, thank you for the 3 years, and goodbye. Should I do it?
Submitted November 23, 2019 at 01:59PM by TheMothHour https://ift.tt/2pPk4MA
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