me [24f] and my roommates [25m] have a downstairs neighbor that won't stop banging on the ceilings. What is the most tactful / non-aggressive way to approach him?

tl;dr our downstairs neighbor aggressively bangs on the ceiling for any noise that we make, even at perfectly normal hours of the day. What would be the best way to approach them and reach an acceptable solution?

I live in a 2-bedroom condo with my boyfriend, our two dogs, and a roommate. The unit below mine was also for sale when I initially moved in, and new people moved in about a month ago. We haven't met them / don't know who they are.

The issue: whenever we make any sort of noise at any hour of the day, the downstairs neighbor aggressively bangs on the ceiling. Now, I have had to deal with noisy upstairs neighbors so I totally can understand how frustrating it must be. However, I also think that when you move into an apartment/condo with upstairs neighbors, it is just a fact of life that you will hear the people above you. Also, I honestly do not feel that we are being excessively loud or making noise at odd hours of the day. In fact, most of their banging happens between the hours of 2-8 PM... which I feel like is a normal time for people to be moving around their apartment.

Just today (Saturday) I started keeping a log, and here were the things that incited this banging:

• 3:30 PM - scooted my chair forward while sitting at my desk
• 4:13 PM - slightly adjusted chair position at my desk
• 5:15 PM: dog jumped down from couch
• 5:30 PM: boyfriend got up from couch, walked to kitchen
• 5:35 PM: me making dinner in the kitchen
• 5:45 PM: we pulled out the chairs to seat ourselves at the dining room table

I feel like I've already done everything within my power to minimize the noise we make. I have kitchen floor mats, a giant area rug in the living room, and felt furniture pads on the bottom of my chairs to minimize scraping across the floor. My dogs go to the dog park every day and get multiple long walks so they're pretty chill whenever they are home, the most they'll do is jump on the couch or chew their toys on the carpeted floor. I am a 107lb woman, I don't wear shoes in the house, and I've been extra cognizant of my walking since the banging has been going on, so I just can't imagine that I make that much noise walking around. I never play music out loud, I don't throw parties, and am in bed by 10:30-11 every night.

How can I approach this in a way that will be acceptable to both parties? I bought this place and I'm assuming they did too, so I don't want to create a hostile / adversarial relationship right off the bat. I considered leaving a note with my number and asking them to text me instead of banging on the ceilings, but that almost feels like we're justifying their behavior too much?? (I feel like a lot of their banging is unreasonable, and I don't want to be walking on eggshells in my own place?) I also thought about going down there and knocking on their door but I don't really know what I would even say, and I'm pretty bad about confrontation / standing up for myself. Considered notifying the HOA but I doubt they'd do anything (their rules say something along the lines of "the association won't get involved in lifestyle-associated complaints unless it's a community wide issue and it is understood that residents should deal peacefully and directly with each other"). Any advice is appreciated.

Submitted November 02, 2019 at 05:20PM by squishablecat https://ift.tt/34oqOzv