Hear me out.
I’ve been dating my current boyfriend for 5 years. He has met my immediate family and visited them several times throughout the years but I wouldn’t say is overly close with them. My bf and I work together and his dad is the Vice President of the company we work at (this is relevant).
My boyfriend and I live about 7 hours from my hometown and because i’m attempting to save money and don’t have vacation time, I barely get to see my family.
Lately, my 89 year old maternal grandmother has been unwell. My stepdad whom i’m very close with has multiple sclerosis is not doing well either and my mom is very stressed out. My boss has decided to give me some vacation time and I’ve expressed to my boyfriend i’d like to go home for a full week to see my family and help my mom out. It’s not going to be a fun visit, my mom is caring for my grandma full time and she needs help with basic things like hygiene and such. My stepdad is losing ability to do things around the house and is declining in a lot of ways. I want to go home for a week and help my mom, grandma and step dad.
The issue is that my boss (bfs dad) wants to book a trip to Cuba for a week in December and pay for it all for the family & myself . I explained that I really appreciate the offer but that I need to prioritize my family and use my vacation time on them. My boyfriend now wants to skip the free trip to Cuba and come home with me for support.
The thing is, I don’t want him to come. Not because I don’t love him, but because I want to be able to focus on my family and not worry about what he’s doing. This isn’t going to be a fun based vacation for me. I don’t want him to be bored or whatever and I want to focus on my family. I think it’s also weighing on me that he’s giving up a FREE VACATION to come home with me, when I would much prefer he goes on vacation and has fun. I would feel pressured to provide a good time and feel guilty about him not going on his trip.
I don’t want to offend him or deny him the chance to support me, but there will be other family trips in the future he can attend where it’ll be more suitable for a partner to join in.
I appreciate the support he wants to give but is it unreasonable for me to want to go alone?
TLDR; Boyfriends dad wants to take us on an all expense paid vacation for a week. I want to use my week of vacation to travel home and care for ailing family members. Boyfriend wants to skip the trip and come along to support me but for logistical and emotional reasons, I’d rather go alone. Wondering if this is offensive or I’m being reasonable?
Submitted November 05, 2019 at 12:29PM by quesojacksoncat https://ift.tt/2JNZwuH
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