Hi everyone. So I (19f) work as an intern at a company that consists of like 90% men, most of them being older (40s-50s.) The vast majority are lovely and I’ve never had an issue with them. But there’s this one man (maybe 60s? a lot older than me) who I can’t stand. It started when he who constantly call me “sweetheart” or “honey.” My mom told me he likely didn’t mean any harm and sometimes older people don’t realize what offends the younger generation so I just asked him politely to call me by my name. Now, I go by a shortened version of my name, let’s just say it’s “Jessica” and I go by “Jess.” So I said “I’d like to go by Jess.” and he laughed at me.
Then he started calling me by my full name, like“Ms. Jessica Smith” in a really obnoxious tone. I think people think it’s some sort of joke between us but it bothers me to no end. He constantly undermines everything I say by saying children don’t have a big enough worldview to understand most things. Whenever he is around when I am confused or need help with something (usually technology related, I’m not very good with technology and still somewhat new and not totally used to the software we use) he’ll just come over and hover over my computer and explain every little thing to me like I’m 12. Obviously I know where the fucking power button is if I need to restart the computer I know how to do that.
During lunch breaks we all hang out in the lunch room and whenever I tell any kind of story he makes comments like “Kids are so silly” or “When you’re older you’ll understand how stupid this stuff is.” I was late once because I slept over at a friends apartment and he said “Oh college girls, sleeping at a different guy’s apartment every night.” This is not the first comment he’s made with a sexual undertone. One of the other employees (another older man) came to me after that and said “I bet you wish socking people was allowed at work” so at least people are on my side but I’m not close with anyone here and I feel so alone. Some of his comments have made the other people in the room uncomfortable as well, I can tell, but no one ever says anything.
I’m very non-confrontational, it has been a big issue as I’ve gotten older and realized no one else is going to speak for me in life. My first confrontation made everything worse and I don’t know if I’m justified in going to HR or my boss about this he’s just an asshole and I feel like I should handle this myself. What can I say to him to make him back down?
TL;DR: Guy at work keeps making comments that get under my skin and I need advice on how to properly confront him.
Submitted November 03, 2019 at 12:15PM by allegoryofthekate https://ift.tt/34pdhYz
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