I'll try to cut it as short as I can but I became pregnant when I was young and immature. Because of this when I realised I was missing the "experience" my friends were gaining, I started partying, taking drugs and fucked up by having an affair.
My boyfriend found out but his reaction wasn't as explosive as I was expecting. He just told me that "We're staying together for our son" and that's it, we never spoke of it again. For about a year afterwards I could tell he could barely stand the sight of me but getting caught forced me to pull my shit together. I realised that all I wanted was to grow old with him and ended the affair. I threw myself into being a caring and attentive girlfriend and convincing him to forgive me and eventually we became intimate again and things went back to normal.
He never proposed but I was OK with that because we acted like a married couple anyway and I have to say, the past 16 years have been picture-perfect. We rarely fought and even when we did it didn't last long, we've been on vacations together, he was there for me when my parents died, split parenting our son evenly, was a great father and was just the best partner a woman could ask for. I thought the incident at the beginning of our relationship was forgiven and forgotten.
Then 2 days ago we celebrated our son's 18th birthday. At the end of the night while we were getting ready for bed he sat me down on the edge of the bed and calmly told me that we would have Christmas together as a family but after that, me and him were done. I stared at him and laughed thinking this was some sort of prank but then I saw the expression on his face and realised he was serious. I started crying and asking what I did wrong and whether there was someone else. After a few seconds pause he reminded me that after I cheated he said we would stay together for our son, now that he's 18 he should be emotionally stable enough to handle his parents separating.
Reading through this now I could almost laugh at how messed up this whole situation is but I feel like i'm losing my mind. I've been crying almost non-stop and I don't know what my next step is, I've tried asking him if he's willing to work on it but he says cheating is a deal breaker for him and that our relationship ended the first time I slept with another man. As far as he's concerned, everything we've shared since he found out I cheated was just a "Co-parenting/FWB" situation and while he loves me, he's not in love with me and hasn't been since he found out, he assumed I understood and accepted this silent agreement.
I doubt anyone here has dealt with anything like this before but right now I need all the advice I can get.
TL;DR: I thought my boyfriend had forgiven me for cheating but when our son became 18, he told me that we would be ending things even though this happened 16 years ago.
Submitted November 02, 2019 at 10:15PM by throwaway98237209 https://ift.tt/33cTw6h
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