Perhaps the title is somewhat overly dramatic...
I (30 f) have been in a relationship with the same man (32) for 13 years almost 14 years. A year ago we got married (today is our 1st wedding anniversary), it was the happiest day of my life. Although I have always been career focused, I never thought that something as trivial as marriage would make me so very happy. I knew that I had married someone that I loved with every Fibre of my being. Although we all have our faults, his faults I easily overlooked and supported him with all my heart. I thought he did the same. We did have arguments, but they were always talked through. Something I was proud of.
Two weeks ago he walked out of the house to live with his parents. He said he needed to find himself. I am willing to give him that, especially if he is having problems that he doesn't know what to do with. He left without any answers to my questions.
I was of course, devastated. As I didn't know that there were any issues (as we normally discussed all problems together as a couple). I feel empty, alone and terrified of what may happen. I wish I could hate him for this... But I cannot, no matter how hard I try. Hate would be easier, but this person that I love so much cannot be so easily hated.
He has not initiated a conversation in a week and said he will talk to me when he is ready. This has left me in pergatory, as I have no idea what is going on, why he left, if this means divorce etc. I feel so lost.
I spoke to him a week ago and he said that he has not been happy in 5 years. I am too unemotional, too cold and I don't give enough to the relationship. I am a psychologist, I am well aware of my faults. I am emotionless and I do tend to be cold. This is something I have tried to change about myself, to be more sympathetic to him. Maybe I did not do enough. This is all my fault. The toughest thing he said is that he "doesn't know if he loves me anymore"... This broke me apart.
I have given so much to the relationship, and I know he has given a lot as well. Maybe he has found someone else who makes him happier? Maybe he needs time alone? Maybe he just feels that the marriage is strangling him. I wish I knew exactly how to make this better. I'm lost.
TLDR: been in a relationship for 13/14 years and been married for 1 year (since today). He left two weeks ago and I have never felt so awful in my life.
Submitted November 03, 2019 at 10:47AM by HecateDarkElemental https://ift.tt/33lyG4Y
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