Throwaway, on mobile.
Bf [28M] and I [28F] have been together for three years. We’ve talked about marriage, no kids, but have more or less planned out what the next 5 years looks like together. We want to save for a house, move in together, and get engaged, but not necessarily in that order.
Recently Bf has been becoming super family-centric, and wants to be around his brothers, sister (adult siblings) and parents more often than not. I asked him about spending more quality time alone just the two of us, and he accused me of forcing him to choose between me and his family. He actually said that it was no contest and his family would always come first. I tried talking to him about where these feelings came from (I don’t think I’ve ever made him chose between me and his family, but it’s normal to want to have alone time as a couple?) and he just said he’s been thinking about the future and realizes family is really important to him. I was grasping at straws because it was such an out of the blue statement and asked if it had anything to do with our plans to be childfree and he assured me it’s not. He said he also doesn’t want to have kids, he isn’t prepared to be a dad, and he’s not willing to gamble on the health conditions that run in our genes.
At this point I can’t help but feeling like I’m not a priority and even when we do get married I’ll always come second to his “real family” rather than us becoming a new family. I don’t know whether I’m just spiraling with my own intrusive thoughts or it’s valid for comments like that to be a dealbreaker. We’ve been together for 3 years and I really do love him- I trust him completely and he’s my best friend. I just can’t help but feeling really hurt that he’d pick his siblings over me when we’re trying to put plans in motion to spend the rest of our lives together. Am I being crazy?
Tl;dr bf tells me I’ll always be #2 to his immediate family. Break up or stick it out after 3 years?
Submitted August 24, 2019 at 04:50PM by Taway1122551 https://ift.tt/2zl2kK1
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