I [30 F] was dropped by my Narcotics Anonymous Sponsor [62 F] because I confronted her when she changed a casual potluck - bring what you can or not event into a formal one with expectations of everyone cooking or bringing something like sushi or salmon. She wanted me to cook up veggies for 8.

So, for weeks now my now ex-narcotics anonymous sponsor has been planning event for the entire sponsee family. She's been planning for it to be a casual event, but mandatory. It was originally a potluck dinner where everyone would get together and bring food if they can and if they can't don't worry about it because the focus isn't on the food - it's on the meeting/get together.

So this week she was in a car accident and had whiplash and an abrasion on her eye. I really don't know what this has to do with anything except that she mentioned it numerous times during the confrontation via group text.

Then, she decided less than 24hrs before the event to break out her fine china, have everyone cook and bring a dish no matter what. My friend and other sponsee sister was on a juice fast, so she really didn't want to bring anything but our sponsor was insisting.

Furthermore, when I spoke with her she shot down every idea I had of something to bring. I tell her I could bring dessert, and she says, "I don't know who will eat that...." so I say, ""What about chips" and she tells me "That doesn't sound too great." So I say then, what about a veggie platter and she shoots that down saying she already had that covered.

So, I tell her that I have $20 to my name till Wednesday so it's going to be hard to bring anything else. Her response was "Well if you brought cooked veggies that shouldn't be too expensive or difficult to do." Then she suggested my fiance buy the food for the event for me to cook. Which, just annoyed me because, I wasn't going to bother him for money for her sake.

& to top things off, I don't drive. So, getting to the grocery store unplanned would've just been a complete hassle for me. I admittedly was not nice about things once I had enough. I came at her flying in the group text and was quite harsh initially. Then, her next text was exceptionally passive aggressive and rude. Filled with a few insults too. So, I went for it, because I was just done.

I did apologize in the group text and move the conversation off to her privately, which did not go over well either.

Anyway, what's concerning here is this isn't my first sponsor I lost. I lost my first sponsor because she did not like the way my doctors were handling my medical care and felt uncomfortable about it. However, she dropped me via text only and had me thinking for 3 weeks that she dropped me because I didn't call her for 4 days and didn't attend a Sunday meeting so I could hang with my friends for the Super Bowl in my home in a safe environment and I had told her about the event weeks and weeks prior to the meeting stating I would miss it that one week, and back then that was 100% fine. Anyway, that's another story.

So, now I'm seeing a sort of trend and it's worrying me. I ultimately don't want to go back to drugs and don't want to end up in a third failed sponsee/sponsor relationship that ends violently. What can I do differently to find a better sponsor? Should I just leave the program? I kinda feel like it's failed me and I really have no clue on how to proceed. So i'm looking for interpersonal relationship advice in a relationship where the other person is the authority figure & I am the student in essence.

Also if you're really invested in this situation you can find the text messages in my profile history. Thanks.

Tl;dr: My Narcotics Anonymous sponsor fired me as a sponsee for not complying with her studden event change and for me confronting her in a group text. I'm worried because this isn't the first sponsor who has fired me I want advice and help on how to find a good match.

Submitted June 23, 2019 at 06:24PM by dori_88 http://bit.ly/2WZifHh