I (27M) am seriously considering breaking up with my GF (27F). I feel unable to do the things I like and I have to do everything she wants us to do.

We've been together for almost 5 years now. It's been fun but like most relationships it has had its ups and downs. Nowadays, I feel like I'm reaching my limit so hear me out.

Ever since we started our relationship we always shared a common goal: to get married and have kids and live a healthy "normal" life as expected from today's standards. Nowadays, I don't feel like that's something that would make me happy. I have no doubts I would be able to actually do it (living together, kids, etc) because I've always been able to push through hard times but I'm concerned it might make me unhappy.

On top of that, all the "little things" that one might consider annoying on a partner have been increasingly getting unbearable for me. As a guy, I hate shopping (she adores it) and I have to sit there 2 or 3 hours bored out of my mind. On the other hand, she can't stand being around when I'm doing something that I enjoy (like video games) she finds it boring and she's quick to jump the gun and decide on something else to do. On more recent events, she told her friends that we would be available next week to attend a party without consulting me. I already had plans with some old friends to meet up and catch up but I guess I'm gonna have to cancel on them unless I want to get into a hell of a fight with her.

I guess I'm getting tired of doing all the relationship things people do and I want the liberty to do the things that I want without caring who I may be upsetting.

As a guy in my country, it's kind of "expected" that you have to put up with some of your female partner demands now and then and you have to suck it up because "that's how most relationships work" but I've had enough. I feel that over these 5 years I've provided enough support, time, money and love but all I get are diminishing returns and a bad attitude when something doesn't go the way she wants it to be.

Don't get me wrong, there's a reason I've stuck with her all this time and that is that when we're having a good time it really is a good time. She's caring and she shows affection, she really wants to marry me and I don't have any problems with her when she is "in a good and loving mood" but when shit hits the fan, I really feel like the bad moments take over the good moments and I end up getting frustrated.

Breaking up with her won't be easy, she has invested all this time in me and telling her that "I don't want to be with you anymore because I'm having second thoughts about marrying you and lately I can't stand these x amount of things that you do" would completely devastate her. I know it sounds (and might be) selfish but a good friend of mine told me that you should always love yourself first before anyone else and I think that's what I'm trying to accomplish here.

I don't wanna marry her and end up getting a divorce specially because I know what I was getting into.

I'm just trying to be as mature as I can about this, recognizing your feelings and what you should or shouldn't do before taking such an important step is the way to go right? It would be much worse to dive in head first into this knowing very well I might hit a wall in a few years.

I considered posting on r/AmITheAsshole but I'd figured I would get down voted due to the trivialities of the situation and the fact that this belongs here rather than another subreddit.

Thoughts?

TLDR: My GF and I have been together for about 5 years. We've always talked about marriage but lately I'm having second thoughts. I also can't stand the little things that used to be an annoyance. I don't know what I should do, if I break up with her I would devastate her.

Submitted June 02, 2019 at 03:38PM by Drummingknifes http://bit.ly/2QGQkKP