Me [28F] with husband [31M]. My best friend [28M] gave us his sperms for us to have children. Now he asked me for my eggs, and husband doesn't agree unless I carry the baby myself.

Martin is my best friend since teenage years. He's gay and has been an amazing friend to both me and my husband.

My husband and I have been together for 7 years, married for 5. He has a genetic medical condition which he didn't want to pass down to the children so we decided to use a sperm donor. We considered all options but decided to ask Martin if he would agree to be my sperm donor. He agreed. I now have two babies.

Martin has been married for 3 years now and very recently asked me if I'd be okay with donating him my eggs. I wanted to say yes on the spot but told him that I'll talk to my husband and will let him know. Martin's plan is to hire a surrogate.

My husband is okay with the general idea, but uncomfortable with the specifics. He says he'll only be okay under two conditions: (1) I carry the baby myself. He says he's extremely uncomfortable with another woman carrying my eggs. He can't wrap his mind around it. And (2) It's only Martin's sperms that are used, not his husband. He says his reasons for this is to ensure the child becomes full siblings with our babies, but he also says he can't wrap his mind around the possibility that my eggs are to be fertilized with sperms that aren't from himself or Martin.

Look, while I don't mind carrying the baby myself (I love Martin and would do this for him in a heartbeat), I don't particularly look forward to it if another option is on the table! As for dictating whose sperm is used, I think that is overstepping our bounds. My husband disagrees and thinks since I'm providing the eggs I get to decide whose sperm is used.

What should we do?

TLDR: Best friend provided me with his sperms for me to have babies. He now wants my eggs to have a baby, and my husband is only comfortable with this if I also carry the baby myself instead of a surrogate.

Submitted December 02, 2018 at 12:58AM by StandardSyrup https://ift.tt/2DWYA4R