Our [34M, 34F] intimacy tanked due to her work schedule, and now that her work schedule lightened back up she doesn't seem to care about improving it.

I've changed some of the facts for anonymity's sake. My [34m] girlfriend [34f] of three years has spent the last 6/7 months working on a big presentation for work. It basically took over her life—many nights and weekends were devoted to the presentation.

Right around the time that started, the intimacy of our relationship took a nose-dive. I do in part mean sex, but I don't just mean sex; there was less kissing, almost no flirting, and it was basically like we'd become roommates who would cuddle at night sometimes. I first brought it up about two months in, and my girlfriend acknowledged it but said it was due to how busy and stressed she was with work.

About a month ago (5 months into the spell), I brought it up again. I said that I didn't expect it to get better before the presentation, but that it had been really difficult and that this was a very important part of the relationship. So basically I said that it was important to me that after the presentation we focused on that aspect of our relationship. And I told her I was willing to do anything; if she wanted to travel together, or just go on more dates, or just talk about it, whatever she needed to feel comfortable with it.

The presentation took place about 2 weeks ago. It was a success! Exciting stuff all around. My girlfriend felt exhausted (she had to pull a couple of all-nighters in the week leading up to it) but relieved.

The following week my girlfriend devoted a lot of her post-work free time to catching up with friends she hadn't seen in a long time. The weekend rolled around and she scheduled a workout class, a couple of friend hangs, and had a few TV shows she had been putting off lined up on the Netflix queue. We ate dinner one night together, but after that she turned on the TV and then went to sleep. Next week: a bit more work, more friend hangs, nothing on our end. This weekend: last night she went to sleep early because she thought she was catching a cold, today she got a drink with an old friend then came back and decided that she was going to sleep early.

I'll admit that maybe I was a bit more confrontational than I intended, but I basically told her that if after 2 weeks she still hadn't found the time to address the elephant in the room, she didn't really care. She pushed back and said she did care but she was "still getting back to reality" and that the sex/intimacy would start back up eventually. The fight continued and she decided to go sleep in the guest bedroom.

Like I told her, I wasn't expecting a sex bonanza after her presentation. But the fact that she hasn't even brought it up, and that when I brought it up she was dismissive, was a real slap in the face.

Is there any hope that we'll get back to normal? Or has the relationship run its course?

TL;DR: Girlfriend was very busy, our intimacy (sex but not just sex) took a dive. We talked, and she said that after she wasn't so busy we'd focus more on building our intimacy. In fact, she became less busy and then devoted no time to that, instead filling her time with other things. We fought about it, and I'm thinking about walking but I don't want to give up on what's otherwise a great relationship.

Submitted November 05, 2022 at 08:05PM by AnderBoyTrew https://ift.tt/dD8Kk7T