My partner (F22) and I (M24) met when she came to New Zealand to study abroad. We lived together for 6 months, dated for around half of that, and had an amazing time. She then had to go back to the United States, and for the last two and a half years (while waiting for covid to allow us to see each other again) we've talked every day. While we haven't 'officially' been a long distance couple for this whole time, I haven't dated anyone since she left, and to my knowledge neither has she. We frequently talk about how if we can find a way to live together again, we'd both love to live a life together, get married, have kids etc; and although I only dated her in person for a few months, I'm confident in saying - from the nearly constant contact we've had since - that we'd have a real shot at going the distance. I love her, and she loves me.
With various countries lifting borders, we finally have a shot and a tentative plan at meeting up in Canada, and living together again; and in any other scenario, this would be a no-brainer for me. However, the complication...
I've always wanted to be an Air Force pilot. As long as I can remember, it's been my driving force, the thing I chose all my subjects to lead to in school, and all I could ever think about doing after graduation. I applied once, straight out of high school, and was turned down; advised to come back and reapply after some time maturing. I did so, and have just received an offer to begin training as a Royal New Zealand Air Force pilot in January - the exact time I'd be moving out of the country to be with my girl. Being a military pilot is all I've ever wanted out of life, and in any other scenario I'd be doing summersaults of happiness that that door's open, but because of some horrible timing, I have to choose between the woman I can see myself marrying and having an amazing life with, or the career that would mean I never work a day in my life. I'm terrified of choosing the wrong option, and regretting it for the rest of my life as 'the point where it all went wrong'.
She can't leave the US/Canada due to family health complications and career aspirations (she needs to complete four years minimum in North America to be able to practice her dream job in her home country), so the only way of being with her without asking her to give up her own dream career is to move. We care about each other more than anything (enough to keep a quasi-long distance relationship running for 2.5 years), but we both know that if I choose to stay, there's no way we'll last another four years with just the occasional visit. It's one or the other no matter what way I look at it, and I don't know what to do. Please help!
tl;dr I've always wanted to be a military pilot, met amazing girl who I want to spend my life with. She can't leave the US, and if I want to be with her, I need to turn down a dream job offer from the Air Force. Help please
Submitted November 04, 2021 at 04:30AM by Seaan2 https://ift.tt/3GPUxW2
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