Just ranting really
I suffer from a combination of health issues, primarily insomnia and when I do sleep I have sleep apnea, chronic pain in my abdomen, severe stomach/gut issues, tapering off to test new antidepressants, etc. These days I’ve felt horrible, no sleep, nausea/vomiting, stomach pain, no appetite, dizzy/confused, joint pain, the list goes on.
I can be snappy sometimes, I often need space when I feel this terrible. I’m a pretty detached/introverted person and love my alone time but my bf and I live and work from home together, and he’s generally pretty clingy/sensitive.
Normally we get along well but with my recent health decline, I feel super trapped because I can’t just experience the shittiness without him thinking he did something wrong and clinging on even harder.
If I go hide in our room for alone time, he comes in to cuddle/squeeze me, he asks me if I love him 100x a day, he always wants to be touching me. If I tell him I need space he gets super offended/suspects I don’t want to be with him/am not attracted to him/don’t love him etc unless I majorly sugarcoat my need for space. I know he’s coming from a place of love but it just irks me and i find it pushes me away further.
If we argue he says things like “sorrry I ruin your life” “I’ll take the blame like always it’s always my fault” etc when I’m just explaining my point for why I did or said something. Which just makes me more angry.
Bleh, I spent the entire night awake on the couch because I’m just upset that he makes me feel like I’m such a jerk when I’m really struggling with my health. I’m trying to manage it the best I can. Not sure what to think.
TL;DR I have chronic health issues that are getting much worse, bf takes my need for space/poor attitude personally. It’s hard :(
Submitted November 06, 2021 at 04:26AM by Embarrassed-Bit-1141 https://ift.tt/3k8uC2c
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