My partner and I are both men in our early 30s. We've been in a relationship for a few months but we've known each other for a lot longer. The relationship is fantastic and I'm completely nuts about him.
He has dealt with a huge amount of trauma in his life, from childhood right up until his last relationship which was very abusive. It does cause him some difficulties but he copes very well. He very rarely wants to talk about it.
Because of the trauma, I wanted to be very careful about how we approached sex. It turns out that it's not something that really worries him much but I still tried to take things quite slow. Right now our sex life is incredible, we are very compatible and we can't get enough of each other.
The one thing that worries me is that he'll sometimes cry after sex especially if it was particularly intense. Sometimes it's just a few tears and sometimes it's full-blown sobbing. The first few times this happened I don't think I handled it well - I freaked out because I thought I'd hurt him or upset him which led to him getting embarrassed and completely closing off. We've discussed it properly since and he's explained that it doesn't feel like a bad thing, he just sometimes feels very overwhelmed and vulnerable and that makes him emotional. I think I understand more or less but I want to make sure I'm responding in the right way and not harming him somehow.
Does this emotional response indicate that he isn't in the right place to be having sex? He's adamant that it isn't the case and I'm inclined to trust his judgement but I also don't want to hurt him. Right now if he cries I just give him lots of cuddles and reassurance (which I would be doing anyway) and make sure he knows he can talk about how he is feeling if he wants to (he never does). Is there anything else I should be considering? He isn't great at talking about his feelings but he says what I do currently is what he likes and finds helpful.
Tl;Dr - my partner has had a lot of past trauma and sometimes cries after sex, I want to make sure I'm responding well.
Submitted November 07, 2021 at 08:20AM by Commercial-Choice-38 https://ift.tt/3051pOM
No comments:
Post a Comment