Be sure to explain in detail with line breaks. My bf and I have been together for 4 years. Most of which I have been a stay at home mom for my 3 kids not from him (ages 11,7, and 4) and the 2 year old have together. We also have a medium dog and 4 cats.
We have never been lovey dovey. But we enjoy spending time together and have a lot of the same or similar interests.
Two years ago I started to feel depressed and exhausted all the time and let our house go; admittedly it was gross. Roughly a year later we found out my depression and exhaustion was due to issues with my thyroid and had to have half of it cut out. But I continue to struggle with depression and exhaustion. We are still working on the right dosage of my medication.
Last year around September my bf left me because the house was a wreck and I was sleeping all the time or laying in bed all day. I got my meds upped, got a job and cleaned the house. Christmas Day he told me he wanted to come back and we got back together.
Shortly after he moved in we started working at the same place, but due to some childcare issues he told me I should quit my job for now. So I did. 6 months after he came back my depression hit bad, and the house slipped into being messy. Not nearly as bad as before, but still a mess. About a month ago I started to feel better naturally, my meds still are not the correct dose.
This September he told me he wanted to separate because he felt I had tricked him by making it appear that I had things together by having a job and having the house clean all the time. I reminded him that he told me to quit my job, but he told me it was because I don’t plan childcare better. We had a friend watch the kids. He claims that I have not changed and will not change ever. I told him this might be a seasonal depression thing, because 2 Septembers in a row can’t be coincidental right?
I asked him to take a step back with me and talk. Discuss what he needs to feel like this is a healthy relationship and what changes he needs. Then I asked him to give me 3 months and a week (he thinks the longest I can hold it together is 3 months) to show him I am capable of change and can keep the house clean and get a job. I pointed out that he can save some money and I will help him save money so he can move into an apartment, but furniture and everything he needs for our son while he is there, and if things don’t work out he will be more prepared. Or if things work out he’ll still have a savings and all the things he wanted. I also pointed out that this is an opportunity to get to see his son everyday. (We have a custody agreement that we alternate weeks with him) Which he has informed me is a manipulative thing to say. I told him it was ridiculous that he wasn’t willing to put down his pride and stubbornness and give us one last shot, sacrifice 3 months of his life, for the sake of his son. Am I being unreasonable? What should I do?
tl;dr: Am I being unreasonable for asking my bf to wait 3 months before deciding to break up or continue our relationship? What should I say to get him to give it one last shot?
Submitted November 20, 2021 at 06:56AM by Wonderful_Weakness13 https://ift.tt/3oRMccx
No comments:
Post a Comment