My and my GF, both mid 20s, have been together for 11 months. Overall it’s a great relationship, but lately my gf got really sad and I’m not sure what I’m doing wrong.
We spend a lot of time together, just the two of us. Somehow it happened that we really didn’t get to know each other’s friends. She met mine just once, and I met some of hers twice in that 11 months. Which is something that is bothering her, as she often says she wants to meet more of my friends, and also to include me in some social activities with her group. And that’s fine, I promised I would get some of my friends to meet her again - but it just doesn’t happen because of everyone’s busy schedule. Except for our guys nights out here and there, where we don’t take our SOs.
This week, her closest friends said they really want to freshen up on getting to know me and invited us for a couple of drinks. I said yes. Then the night of that meeting we had a conversation, where I admitted I would rather stay home and catch up on my work to have some free time at the weekend - and said as much. She just said “ok” and I thought that was the end of it. I told her to go and have fun with her friends, say sorry that I couldn’t make it, and promise I would be there next time. I also said I would cancel on us sleeping together because I don’t know what time she would be back.
She went, had a good time, and next day said she was really sorry I couldn’t be there for it. After that I casually mentioned that this weekend a good friend of mine comes to visit. And then she visibly got upset, but I didn’t understand why.
We talked, and she again says that she would want me to invite me more and spend more time with my friends and that she feels that since I worked late on that night when I cancelled to have a free weekend - so I can see my friend without worrying about work - it seemed I put my friends over wanting to socialise with hers.
I really don’t get it. It’s not true. These are two different things. My friend is coming from far away and I learnt it just on the day of that meeting with her friends, so how could I know. I think a compounding factor is that she really wants to be involved with my friends, but it so happens that we only go out as guys nights out, and there simply isn’t a possibility to do that. And I have another outing like that next week and now I’m scared of bringing it up.
How can I communicate all that to her?
TL:DR: My gf is mad about me cancelling plans due to work. How can I make her understand it’s not about me not wanting her to spend time with my friends, but actually about work.
Submitted November 05, 2021 at 12:29AM by Common-Toe-5510 https://ift.tt/3bIZJga
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