Considering dropping from college because mom's been taking her depression out on my(f19) sister(f11) after dad passed

I know dropping out from college is bad, but I struggled to focus last semester and this one after hearing about how home has been since I left. I'm currently out of state thanks to a scholarship that's the only way I can afford it, and my mom's been scraping by ever since our dad passed a little over a year ago from a heart attack. Mom was really depressed and lost her job partly because of it, and there would be days when she struggled to get out of bed. Dad had some savings that she's been living off of, but that soon ran out due to some emotional purchases that really drained everything fast, and she didn't want to return them either. On days where she refused to cook, my sister had to find whatever she could make after I had started working in high school because of how things were

I'd bring food home whenever I could, usually whatever my sister was in the mood for. However, since going to college and hearing about things at home, I've been struggling to focus and dealing with guilt that effected my grades. Mom would vent to me whenever I got back from work in HS, but when I'm not there, she'll yell at my sister which she won't do when I'm there probably because she can talk to me instead. Other times she'll just ignore her or send her to do the shopping for the month because of her mood, and she's also told me that she's been cursed at too. I'm in my second year, and I've visited home a few times too. Things are fine when I visit, but my sister gets sad when I leave, and mom has cut off most of her family too since dad died. I've been struggling to think straight and have considered reaching out to some of those members for help with everything, but at the end of the day, my sister is a minor and they probably can't do anything unless mom allows. From what I know, she hasn't been hit, but mom has been struggling with her bills since I've been gone, and while she's working part-time now, sometimes she'll miss bills because she's too depressed to keep up which is why I used to be on top of it when I was there. The home is also a mess because she's too down to usually maintain it, and besides her not talking to my sister for extended stretches or not at all on some days, there was a recent day when the toilets needed a plumber and my sister had to try and call because mom refused to do anything about it for almost two weeks, and there's a bit more, but I'll stop there. I've considered getting help from the authorities, but if I do that, I feel like I'll lose my connection to my sister forever since mom will cut me off or probably say I can't return. I'm just torn on doing that or asking family at this point because it feels hopeless. I'm tempted to drop out because I could then help mom again while working full-time, and in turn, the neglect would stop because she'd have me to complain to, and the home would be better maintained too without risking destroying our connection by getting outside help (although I still believe she should get help for her depression that she's refusing to do) for just a degree and risking it. Does anyone have any suggestions on top of those options perhaps?

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TL;DR: Since my dad passed, mom has been depressed and refuses to get help, lost her job and was mostly bedridden and burned through dad's savings on emotional purchases. I got a job in high school to help, but now that I'm in college out of state, mom doesn't have me to complain to anymore. So, she takes it out on my sister by neglecting her and failing to maintain the home when I'm not there

Submitted November 04, 2021 at 03:15PM by throwraefficentway https://ift.tt/3qbbi8y