I (21F) found an engagement ring that my boyfriend (22M) had hidden and I don't know what I should do now

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years, and we're closing in on 2 years of living together. I love him so much, and I know he loves me too. We've even talked about eventually getting married. I've always thought that's what I wanted, until last week.

My boyfriend had work pretty much all day, and I was bored. So, I decided to clean the whole apartment. He has a separate closet that I rarely ever come close to (unless I'm stealing hoodies) it was pretty messy, and I had already decided on cleaning the whole apartment. As I was cleaning it I found an engagement ring hidden inside one of his Jordans. Naturally, I freaked out. I went through a lot of different emotions. I was scared, excited, happy and nervous all at the same time. After a while, I kinda calmed down. I started thinking about how I would respond to him. The thought of saying yes was suddenly terrifying to me.

This is gonna sound crazy, but if he asked me to marry him right now... I don't know what I would say. He's the only boyfriend I've ever had. Only guy I've ever been with. I love him a lot, but I don't want to do this half-assed. I don't want to end up breaking his heart. I do want to be with him, and I don't want us to breakup, but the idea of agreeing to be with him forever is so scary to me rn. Also, if I get married I don't ever want to get divorced. I've seen what divorce does, I've seen it up close. Divorce ruins lives.

I had nightmare in which he proposed to me, and I said no. He then told me he hated me and walked out. Obviously, I don't think that's how its gonna happen, but he might not want to be with me anymore if I say no. I wouldn't even blame him if he wanted nothing to do with me after that.

I talked to my mom about it. She says its just cold feet, and that I would be crazy if I said no. I'm still not sure if this is cold feet or if its real concern.

I don't know what to do. I've been freaking out for a week. While doing my best to hide it from him. How should I handle this? I really really need advice rn.

tldr- My boyfriend seems to be planning to propose soon. I'm freaking out, and I'm not sure what the right thing to do is.

Submitted May 31, 2021 at 06:35PM by ThrowRAdddeddd1 https://ift.tt/34zOAuC