Im 25 (f) and he is 25 (m)
Today I saw that he still had tinder downloaded on his phone and my initial reaction was accusatory because I used to ask him about it and he would deny he uses it or say he’s rarely on it “just curious”. I was calm but accusatory so of course it kicked in his defense mechanisms. He got really upset, started yelling at me that he didn’t have the app and deleted it, and told me “I want to punch you in the face right now” I was in shock and kept repeating how under no circumstances is it okay to say that but he didn’t seem remorseful so I left his apartment after this exchange.
It turns out he thought he deleted the app but it was in his hidden folder and I know it sounds like BS, but I believe him because he has every app under the sun on his phone and never deletes anything so he must have accidentally hidden it. It’s happened to me too.
Anyway, he’s super upset at me and won’t speak to me until tomorrow because he’s so angry that I accused him and didn’t trust him. He said, “instead of believing me and being on my side and trusting me you chose to not trust me or believe me. Not even close to what a relationship should be.” I do question him a lot because he’s lied to me in the past so we’re in the rebuilding trust stage, but he doesn’t seem to understand that.
I’m scared by his punching comment and don’t know what to think. He was completely sober saying it. He’s a really great person, caring, and kind, especially towards women so this comment really has me in shock and I don’t know what to think of it. Re. the comment he said “I am sorry I chose those words. I was more than frustrated and wouldn’t ever do that but that’s how I chose to blurt out my frustration”
should I dismiss it as a poor choice in words or take it as a red flag? Before that comment, I would never even begin to think he would put his hands on me but the way he said it so angrily really has me hurt and confused
TL;DR: please offer opinions on whether or not it’s a red flag when your bf says they want to punch you in the face angrily but it seems out of character for him to say or do so
Submitted June 22, 2021 at 08:30PM by buythedjp https://ift.tt/3d4QCYt
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